Single Women Thoughts…

When I write I am often focused on the emotions of a single woman living and making her professional and even sexual person known. As any true feminist knows, the emotional-clothing she wears during especially pivotal moments in her life become indivisible from the emotions related to that experience. Bottomline in all of my sartorial wisdom, I am the fictional embodiment of emotionally-driven clothing.

Cause see at some point you/we have to recognize that the many people we’ve run through, just isn’t giving us the long lasting satisfaction that we are looking for. In a society where monogamy takes a backseat to every fleeting desire, you have to ask yourself what it is that I’m actually looking for.

As Barbie’s popularity grew, she became an idol to women everywhere. As time passed with botched surgeries and the stats of bulimia and anorexia rising, people began to see that looking like Barbie was unhealthy. I would love to say that we are over trying to be carbon copies of each other or a single woman, but that would be a lie. Women are still spending money to become their favorite idols when they look in the mirror. Men have become attracted to what society tells them they should be attracted to, and in attempt to live out their youth, they are trying to capture as many of these women as possible.

Many men can argue that women are the same way. Women seek men to look a certain way, have a certain size and girth below, be financially independent and willing to splurge on their woman.

What we all fail to realize is that it is important to be yourself. Quality over Quantity. People are afraid to be themselves because we see what other people like. Even the attempt to be original isn’t original anymore. We’ve allowed society to cut funding in areas that allow our creativity to take part in who we are as individuals. We’ve allowed our music to take on similar tones in order to sell. We’ve allowed ourselves to study fields we have little interest in, in the hope that money will settle the feeling of inadequacy within.

We have forgotten that things that are good for you, are scarce. If you are looking for the perfect partner for you, you will not find him or her in everyone you sleep with. What you want to do with your life is ultimately up to you and may not be the most current trend in popular careers or majors. When someone comes into your life, that you feel has a good heart and means the best for you, you keep that person around because you never know the next time you will receive a blessing again. We are losing too much of each other and ourselves in a world that enforces looking or feeling a certain way.

I understand at times my blog demonstrates a truth time and again, hyperbolically at times but nevertheless in a manner that is innately relatable to single women. But for a second I would like for you to step back and ask yourself a single question: Am I who I want to be?

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SurveyStud: In the App Store

Keeping Her A Secret

It’s obvious that the dynamic of relationships has changed since social media and the Internet. Whether you are in a “situationship”, relationship, or married, the display of being with someone else takes effect on social media platforms. 

Think about it. People are hooking up from online encounters. People are getting married from online connections. Think about any of your previous relationships and what role social media played in it. An important problem that continues to build and tear down relationships with (or without) a social media presence is: The difference between secrecy and privacy.

There is a difference darlings.

– Being secretive means you are hiding something.

– Being private involves acknowledging, but not oversharing.

Seems pretty simple right? Wrong.

There are both men and women who feel as though a relationship should be on full display for others to see. The constant pictures of kissing, holding hands, the status tags, etc. You all know what I’m talking about; the Over-Sharers. Great! We see how in love you all are, and just because people aren’t as gung-ho about your posts as you are, does not mean they are hating. Sometimes, it may actually just be YOU.

I commonly tend to think that this is a direct line coming from insecurities. Don’t be mistaken, this could be any of us at any given time. Like any other human, sometimes we need constant validation about different things. It also depends on the person you are with. If there are behaviors which they/he tends to justify–no “F” that. If there are behaviors causing you to doubt them/him PAY ATTENTION! Truth is you are doubting him for a reason.

Example, whenever $10+ is charged on my debit card, I get an email notification–guess what, I validate every notification. Why because it’s important to me. So when it comes to relationships, if you get a mental “notification,” maybe you should validate what’s going on.

So for those who love a private life, all I’m saying don’t fool yourself. You know if someone is keeping you a secret, and you know if someone just enjoys their privacy.

Question: Has anyone ever tried to keep you a secret?

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SurveyStud: In the App Store

The “Print” 👀

Ladies. I know you see it. I KNOW you’ve noticed. You know what time is it.

Just like men have their “Sundress Season” excitement, we have our “Sweatpants Season.”

To me, this is not only the most wonderful time of the year (wink), but it is also common knowledge. ‘Tis the season right? Please don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about. I know people usually call this “Sweatpants Season”, but I think it’s important to point out what color is prevalent among these here photos we see! For years, men have anticipated the summertime, where a flowing sundress accentuates every part of a woman’s body. So why can’t we notice and appreciation when a man’s body is being accentuated?

I was told by a man that it was wrong for us women to even be looking at the print of a man in gray sweatpants. His argument is that women do not like to be objectified or glared at by the choice of clothing they choose to wear. While I don’t entirely disagree with what he’s saying, I do see his point. I’ve heard women complain about men staring at their bodies, and it’s usually because they have their own insecurities that they are working on with it. I know women who love wearing sundresses because they love the attention they receive. I think men are no different. Some men hate that they are judged by the print of clothing they choose to wear for comfort. Some men love that they have a good print in their sweatpants. They know it can attract a woman in a way that verbal sexual advances can’t.

I find it interesting that some men tend to be completely insecure about what women think of them in sweatpants. These same men either bash women if they don’t have the perfect figure, or they can’t understand why women have their own body insecurities. When I asked a male about this he explained it in a way that I guess I can kind of understand. Women can work on their bodies and change its shape overtime. The print is something that can’t be changed with exercise and a good diet. Of course there are cosmetic enhancements that can be made to any body, but for the most part, men don’t believe in getting it done, and if it has been done, they are not vocal about it.

It’s easy to say you don’t objectify one sex or the other, but I think it is something we all do. Let’s not take life so seriously! Enjoy the beauty of one another’s bodies. Compliment each other! Enjoy the season, whichever it may be!

Question: Ladies, how many thirst traps have you seen in sweatpants at the gym?

I, too, have been a victim of the salacious images of men in sweatpants.

Leave a comment below…

SurveyStud: In the ApAp Store

Fake Friend

A line from my favorite TV Show: (which I will not name) Friends are like breasts. You have big ones, small ones, real ones and fakes ones.”

As we get older, our friends change while we’re changing, and sometimes it’s hard to see the people you keep company with. Ladies I feel we all experience that one jealous friend who does THEE most in trying to keep up a pretentious relationship. I had one I actually lived with who truly wanted my down fall. Through my own experience and those of others, I have noted ways to identify these fraudulent people.

– They’re secretly intimated by your presence because of their inferior complex. These can sometimes be the people who want to see you one day, and not see you again for weeks. You may catch them staring at you when you’re not facing them; trying to figure out how you came to be who you are and why they are who they are. They pick and choose what friends of theirs you interact with so they won’t feel inferior. They constantly compare themselves to you, or their life to your life. Oh, and they troll the hell out of you on social media.

– They are insatiable, never content. They want what you got. You ever have a friend and wonder why they are constantly complaining while comparing their life and your life? They can have more than you have, and they still want every bit of what you have because they think it will make them as happy as you.

– They follow and monitor your every movement and action, pretending as if their intentions are good. These are the people who constantly want to know where you are going and what you are doing. They need to know every step you take because they are obsessed with your happiness and how you obtain it.

– They copy your style and try to outdo you
They ask where you bought your latest pair of shoes from. They scavenge your closet, they eye your social media, hoping to emulate even one simple outfit. These are the people that always try to one-up you. If you have a brand specific watch, they get the same or a similar brand with a watch that costs more. It’s bizarre, but it makes them feel better.

– They secretly wish for your downfall, but adore you in public. Be wary and vigilant. These are some of the sickest people you will know who will scream to the world on top of the mountain that they love you and you’re their best friend. They are constantly wishing for your downfall in ALL things, both big and small matters. They want to see you fail because their jealousy wants you to fail. They click with people who don’t like you, and tend to egg them on when they are speaking bad of you.

– They never truly appreciate your help. Their egos can’t stand the fact that you’re the one they need to go to for help. Especially if they are doing better by societal standards (ie. financially). They may pretend to be thankful, or thank you grudgingly, but inside they can’t stop themselves from cursing you for being the one that has to help them.

There are obvious other ways to spot these fake people in your life, but I believe these are the most common. Not every “frenemy” is going to have all of these issues i described, but they will have one or two forms. These people are the ones who may truly want to be your friend, but their own jealousy won’t allow that to happen.

Question: Did I miss anything?

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SurveyStud: In the App Store

Does Size Still Matter

Last night my best girl friend called me to talk about size, and the conversation took me to a place where I wondered “does size still matter?” I mean, I’ve been in a relationship so long, I’m contempt or satified thus this topic is not on my radar.

I once wrote an article wondering how important size is. I focused on points concerning “le stroke” and how to find other ways to please your partner, since size isn’t something every man is blessed with. I pointed out other aspects that may be more important depending on the person you are.

Now I’m here to talk to the men.

Time, experience, and many conversations always include the question of the size of the partner whenever sex is involved. I feel there are certain…behaviors…a man with a smaller size penis should have. And yes. This will also be in list form, because it just seems easier to communicate my feelings in that manner for you all!

Know Your Place

Stop asking her if she can handle your “big stick” during sex. You BOTH know it’s NOT big, and it doesn’t help to remind her that you’re lacking! Stop comparing yourself to other guys you both may see on TV or online (and YES, men definitely do this!) She knows your size, and she’s comfortable enough as a woman to love you like the man that you are.

Realize this!

You Can’t Talk To Her Any Kind of Way
A lot of men feel they can question or talk to their woman in any manner. When you’ve got a big d*ck, you immediately get a way with a lot more of what you say and how you behave. This may seems wrong, but think about it. Think about every woman you’ve known that’s put up with a man’s sh*t. He either has a big d*ck or his stroke game is on mighty. Know that when you want to check her, you may need to check yourself first before she calls you out.

Licky-Licky to Sticky-Sticky

Yes. It’s true. There are still men in 2017 who won’t eat the box. Some women prefer d*ck over tongue, so it’s okay for them. If you have a woman like this, you better be hitting it right, no matter the size. But alas, if you fall short, you better know some good tricks to compensate. If your tongue game is excellent, then you’re halfway to taking her to that level. When one sense is dulled, the other senses become stronger to make up for it. It’s the same here buddy.

Take Care of Home

I mean, this should go for anyone in a relationship. But it goes juuust a little harder for those of you who are “fast-pumpers.” Show her how much you care and take care of home. Make sure she’s comfortable with you, and learn to connect with her on a deeper level than sex.

It goes without saying that someone should love you for who you are. As noble as that saying is, we all have our things that we like and don’t like. When you’re dating and in relationships, you’re not only figuring out what you like, but also what the other person likes. Life is all about balance. We all come up short in one manner or another.

Question: Does size still matter after you’ve been in a relationship for a while?

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SurveyStud: In the App Store

Cheap Men

Guys, women watch how a man spends — or fails to spend — his money as a direct reflection of how generous and giving he is as a person. For example, a man who calculates his every dime and rarely treats his woman, or his friends for that matter, will be seen as a tightwad who puts his own bottom line above all else–specifically her.

Furthermore, they/we will assume that this trait applies to all aspects of the man’s character, from how open he is with his feelings to how much love he is able to give. This is not to say that women equate love with money; simply that women will be more drawn to a man who is generous both in finances and spirit.

My dating history, coupled with my passion for personal finance and girl power has molded some strong beliefs about men and money.

So, if you were ever wondering, one of my biggest pet peeves when it comes to love and money is cheap men. Seriously. There is nothing worse in my book. But my years of experience have given me the insight to detect that not every man that is tight with his wallet is cheap. He may actually be a keeper because he has a healthy relationship with money. He’s not cheap. He is financially responsible.

Here are a few ways to distinguish between financially responsible men and their no good, bootleg cheapo counterparts.

1. Price vs. Value: Cheap men speak in terms of price; financially responsible speak in terms of value. A cheap man will always find the price of something expensive no matter what the quality, the features, the level of convenience or improved quality of life it would bring. Nothing in the eyes of a cheap man is ever “really worth it.” (Sidenote: Despite it “not being worth it”, he has NO problem accepting it as a gift.)

On the other hand, a financially responsible man can objectively see why a product or service may be priced the way it is and still decide that he will pass on the purchase because it is not that important to him.

2. Hoarding vs. Handling: Cheap men hoard and hide money; they tend to be risk averse and would prefer to hide money in the lining of his mama’s fur coat than to spend it or invest it to buy something meaningful or to plan for the future. Financially responsible men, on the other hand, handle their money. They invest and envision. For example, financially responsible men may decide to save their money to purchase a home, invest in an index fund, set themselves up for retirement, or start their own businesses.

3. Treating Themselves vs. Treating Others: Cheap men are selfish. They have a scarcity mindset and only believe that there is enough for them. They don’t buy gifts for others; they don’t tip well; they lie about being broke to avoid chipping in. In other words, they are not generous when it comes to opening their wallets to show largesse to those that they claim to love. Financially responsible men, conversely, don’t mind showing their romantic companion a lavish time from time to time. They plan for splurge so they do not get sidetracked from their long-term financial goals. Similarly, they do not squeeze the last bit of service out of waitresses, department store workers, or cashiers

Question: Which type of man are you dating?

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SurveyStud: In the App Store

Remedies For Blackheads

After doing the list on home remedies for acne, I started getting a lot of questions about blackheads in particular. Common and annoying, blackheads occur when your pores become clogged with excess sebum, and dead skin cells. The difference between a black head and a white head is simply whether or not the pore is open or closed. If the pore is open, the plug of sebum/skin cells oxidizes as it is in contact with the oxygen in the air, which turns it black. Blackheads are not caused by dirt. Let’s make that clear from the beginning.

Scrubbing your face obsessively is not a good way to get rid of your blackheads, and is only going to make it worse as you’ll just end up drying out your skin, which will cause more oil to be created to make up for everything you stripped away, and…well it’s a vicious cycle. For this reason, don’t use some of these remedies more than 2-3 times a week, such as the sugar scrub and pore strips. I know it can be hard to resist, but your skin will be better off this way:

1. Clay Time

Bentonite clay is a mineral rich healing substance that has been used for centuries to treat a number of ailments, chiefly skin related. Because of its molecules “electrical charge” when wet, it does an amazing job of drawing out oils or other impurities locked in your pores. When you apply the mask your skin gets to drink in all the minerals, while the clay simultaneously draws out the blackhead. It also helps with circulation, which helps with overall skin tone and health. You can mix the clay with water or apple cider vinegar, maybe sticking to the former if you have dry or sensitive skin. Experiment! This mask will make you feel like your face is tightening as it dries.

2. Egg White Mask

Egg whites form an easy mask that can be used to temporarily tighten pores, thus reducing chances of future blackheads, and will also remove current blackheads. Egg whites are also rich in nutrients for your skin, and are a little less drying than some other home remedies for blackheads.

3. Honey and Milk Pore Strips

Milk and honey both have properties that are good for skin. Honey has antibacterial properties, and the lactic acid in milk is said to help keep skin soft and supple. The main purpose here though is, when mixed together, to act as an adhesive.

4. Cinnamon & Honey Strips

It sounds like a delicious candy, but cinnamon and honey make a wonderful combination for getting rid of blackheads. Again, the anti-bacterial agents in the honey can help keep away bacteria that are causing acne (not necessarily blackheads, but still a bonus) as well as act as the adhesive to pull out anything clogging your pores. Cinnamon improves circulation, and this increased blood flow gives your skin a smooth, healthy, glow.

5. H2O Daily Blackhead Treatment

While pore strips and face masks work wonders, they can only be used several times a week to avoid drying your skin out to much. If you want to do something daily to prevent your blackheads, a gentle rinsing with water 1-2 times a day is the way to go. This keeps things that can make your pores appear larger-such as excess sebum and dead skin-flushed away and your pores clear. Be sure to use a light moisturizer when you are done to prevent your skin from trying to produce excess sebum to accommodate for dryness.

6. Toner for Tighter Pores

Since blackheads are caused by open, clogged, pores reacting to oxygen, it only makes sense that “shrinking” your pores down will help. Lemon juice is just the astringent substance needed to get the job done, however, it can lighten skin temporarily and it does make you sensitive to the sun, so load up on sunscreen if you plan on using this method in the summertime. If you have sensitive skin, try diluting the lemon juice with water first.

Question: How do you keep your akin hydrated and clean?

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SurveyStud: In the App Store

Men Don’t Notice or Care

Years back I woke up to find my wife, Chantel, in front of the mirror, examining her stretch marks. She asked me whether I thought she should try using cream to get rid of them. I told her the truth, if she wanted to improve her appearance, she should get more beauty sleep before our kids came in to rob us of whatever remains of our youth.

What I didn’t tell her—but should have—is this: I pretty much never notice those stretch marks.

Like most guys, I’m too busy paying attention to the stuff that makes the female body so awesome. We do, however, see your obsessing and attempting to compensate for what you perceive as flaws. Want to save yourself a whole bunch of angst and money?

WHAT MEN DON’T NOTICE

1. Cellulite, bellies, etc. When I go to the pool in the summertime, I get sad when I see beautiful women covering up their bodies because they’re self-conscious about a few jiggly parts here and there. Who cares? Everybody’s got a little jiggle; it’s a sign of good times. A woman who is confident enough to show you that she knows how to eat and laugh, who is willing to let a little muffin top rise over the edge of the pan, is a lot sexier than someone who hides herself in big, billowy clothing. As for getting physical, these bits don’t bother guys either: A little extra bounce and slap here and there is never a bad thing in bed.

2. Breasts that don’t bounce to attention. Men love boobs. Some guys are “boob men” and have specific tastes, but most of us are excited by life’s rich tapestry of breasts. After two kids and 10 years together, I think my wife’s pair of aces is just as incredible as when she first taught me how to play Texas hold ’em. (Worst poker metaphor ever? Yup.) Luckily, Chantel still loves her girls too, and proudly displays them despite all the changes they’ve undergone in the last decade. An appreciated boob is a sexy boob, whether it’s an A cup or a double D, whether there is a little sag or one’s bigger than the other. If you love your breasts and think they’re hot, so will your guy.

3. What you’re doing with your hair down there. Sometimes I trim my beard, sometimes I don’t. Feel free to take the same approach, because I’m not really paying attention. I’ve had this discussion with friends, and we all agree that the product is a lot more interesting than the packaging. So grow it out, trim it, make a funny design like a lighting bolt or an arrow, just have fun with it. One personal caveat: I’m not a fan of totally waxed pubic hair. I think it’s creepy and weird to fetishize the look of prepubescence. And regrowth is no fun for either party. Besides, people who take pubic hair for granted are destined to wear a merkin.

4. Split ends. What are these things? I see so many commercials about split ends, and the women in those commercials seem very concerned. I couldn’t identify a split end if it robbed me at gunpoint.

WHAT MEN DO NOTICE

5. When you fake the color of your skin. You know what freaks me out? Women spending money on products and treatments to make their skin darker. You know what’s equally crazy? Women spending money on products and treatments to make their skin lighter. The end results always seem to hover around “orange” or “E.T. when he’s sick.” Natural is hot: I love dark skin. I love olive and caramel skin, and Gothy pale white skin. Sick alien and Creamsicle orange I don’t dig so much, and I don’t know any guys who do.

6. Lips that have been injected with a foreign substance. So creepy. Take it from me: Collagen injections don’t make a woman look like Angelina Jolie; they make her look like she’s just had invasive dental surgery.

7. Frozen face. (Are you detecting a trend?) Why do men despise it when you inject your wrinkles away? Let me see, maybe it’s because it robs you of the ability to convey human emotions like surprise or worry. Husband: “Honey, you seem strangely unmoved by the fact that the dog just ate a carving knife.” Wife: “I’m furrowing my brow with concern… on the inside.”

8. Scars. And so we come back to the stretch marks. At one point Chantel’s were red and unmissable, along with her C-section scar, but they don’t, and never did, bother me. I don’t think other guys mind them either, as evidenced by the fact that many strippers out there have obvious C-section scars (don’t ask me how I know this). In Chantel’s case, they are physical evidence of our shared history and of the pain Chantel was willing to endure for our family. They show just how tough my wife is.

Just my thoughts… I normally don’t write for this blog but today I thought I would.

George T.

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SurveyStud: In the App Store

The Art of Walking in Heels

Heels are the perfect addition to just about any outfit — and they make our legs look like a supermodel’s — yet wearing them comes at a price.

And it’s not just pain and blisters; even walking in them gracefully is a challenge.

So it’s no surprise that a recent picture of Rihanna gliding over a New York City subway grate in pointy stilettos practically made my head spin.

Shortly after seeing this I spoke with Amy Goldenberg, Consumer Research Analyst, SurveyStud, Inc to get data/uncover the secrets to walking in 4-inch stilettos (Your feet will definitely thank her later for this one.)

1. It’s all about posture.

Amy said, remember when your mom was always telling you to stand up straight? Turns out mom really does know best.

2. Work that inner core.

Besides giving you hopes of getting a six-pack, building inner core strength can actually help you walk better. Amy added that Pilates is her exercise of choice. Perhaps that’s the secret behind celebrities and models walking for hours on end in sky-high shoes.

3. There’s some homework involved.

What you do at home can actually make a difference when it comes to hitting the city streets with grace and elegance.

4. How you step matters.

Walking might not be as easy as 1-2-3.

Amy also said the key to walking in heels is trying a Y-step. Each time you step, land on the outer border of the heel and toe off.

5. Now put this all together.

If this seems overwhelming, I promise it’s not. According to Amy, here’s what you need to remember H-A-P-P-Y:

H: Head held high

A: Abdominal muscles pulled in

P: Pelvis in neutral

P: Press chest down

Y: Y-step

Perhaps it’s not so hard after all.

Question: Have you mastered walking in heels?

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SurveyStud: In the App Store

Have Women Found Work-Life Balance?

For many of us, the strictly nine-to-five day is a relic of a bygone workplace—right up there with two-martini lunches and power suits. So you might think that women are fretting about juggling work and life. Yet the women we surveyed with the SurveyStud App reported just the opposite: 68 percent said that their jobs rarely or never interfere with their personal lives.

So what’s going on? Progress, for starters. Some workplaces have adapted their policies to cater to the needs of employees, says Mark Durbin, Director of Human Research, SurveyStud, inc. Nowadays nearly 27 percent of American women work flexible schedules, up from 11 percent in 1984, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics. Technology such as remote server access and videoconferencing has made it easier to work from home. At the same time, more companies are prioritizing what a staffer does, not where she does it, says Durbin.

But these are not the only reasons why women may be sounding more complacent. George T. Reynolds, Senior Partner, SurveyStud, inc, cautions that some women have simply grown accustomed to making imperfect trade-offs between work and their personal lives.

To a point, anyway. Women still lose their cool when it comes to certain ways that the office can encroach on home. In a study published last year in the Journal of Health and Social Behavior, Scott Schieman, a professor of sociology at the University of Toronto, found that when women have to respond to work-related phone calls or e-mails outside of normal work hours, they feel higher levels of distress than men do. (Anyone who has heard the dreaded pinging at bedtime can relate.) Why? One theory, says Schieman, is that men are traditionally raised to be financial providers and therefore don’t expect to be free from that role even when they are home.

Or perhaps it’s just that women have developed more practical expectations: We know that total work-life balance is an unattainable ideal, so we’ve stopped insisting on it. But we also know that it’s possible for our bosses not to IM us during Downton Abbey—and that’s something we really must insist on.

As usual if this seems plagiarized that’s because it probably is–so if you find something let me know and I will remove it.

surveystud: https://appsto.re/us/Ddj18.i