Lady Whiskers

Every woman has that one humbling flaw that keeps her (somewhat) grounded and human. Some have struggly feet, others bad skin and the rest eye-watering breath, deformed thumbs or unflattering facial hair–no no no let’s call it what it is, a freak’n mustache. I said it, a mustache.

Now I’m very grateful for the genes that my parents have passed down to me. The fair-skin/facial hair struggle is real, and it’s the one thing my family line could’ve kept to themselves! My “Lady Whiskers” has caused a lot of insecurities to develop over the years that I’m just now working past.

“Why don’t you just shave it off?”

Well my friend, it’s not that simple because it grows right back with a vengeance. It’s not obnoxiously noticeable, but it’s enough for me to acknowledge every time I look into a mirror.

For those who endure this struggle, have you ever went/gone to an eyebrow wax and the lady asks do you want a lip wax too? Really. Everytime this happens I smile, and say no thank you, but in my mind I’m thinking… GZus lady, stop drawing attention to it–because the one time I actually allowed you to handle the stache, I walk out with a red and swollen upper lip.

Then theres the never ending shade on selfies, I’ve become a filter queen. I also find that I keep my hand over my mouth thinking it will keep people from noticing it. Truth is it don’t. Oh yeah, I can’t wear certain lipstick colors because they highlight my lip whiskers.

Bottomline, I’m not one to waste tons of dollars on different methods to see what sticks, so if I can find one good method that is effective and doesn’t break the bank that would be perfect!

Question: Does anyone know any methods which could help me fight these lady whiskers?

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Venting…

I remember the first time I tried to describe the physical sensation of menstrual cramps to my dad. His face twisting into a horrified grimace.

Yes. Yes, it can be. And many of us deal with it every month. But unless you’re our SO or close friend, you’ll probably never know about it. Because we still manage to get sh*t done.

There are a lot of similar struggles that women experience all the time — some silly and small, some alarmingly big — that many men might not be aware of or understand. For example we’re always expected to look nice. And to look happy and have a pleasant demeanor. Seriously, sometimes we want to go outside with frizzy hair and no makeup and sweatpants and not talk to or smile at anyone. I also hate white I go to sleep on white sheets, with a white pillow, and wake up with sheets that look like a 1st grader just colored all over them… uggggghhhh.

OMG what about thinking about your safety ALL the time… Where you walk, how dark it is, where you park, who is in your general vicinity at all times. Parking at the mall? Don’t park near a van! Want to stay late studying? Better have someone walk you to your car. It’s exhausting honestly.

See guys dont have these type of thoughts and or problems.

Then you have the petty stuff i.e… painting your nails with the non-dominant hand–how about going-upstairs boobs. Sleeping face down boobs. Hello I’m going to hurt for no reason today boobs. Boob bra knot boobs. We’ve fallen out and going to do our own thing today boobs.

Don’t judge me, I’m venting…

If I happen to run a few errands or God forbid go to school or work without makeup on and I run into someone I know, I get ‘hey are you okay? You look sick.’ And then when I do wear makeup and I look all cute and presentable, I’ll hear, ‘yeah guys definitely like the natural look better.’

Then there’s the stress of an unexpected period, but then also the stress of an unexpected not-period.

Then theres shaving my kneecaps. Twenty-three years of practice and I’m still awful at it.

Finally because I don’t want to bore you with my problems, but ANYTHING and everything you do with the opposite sex can ([and] probably will at some point) be interpreted as being a tease or leading him on.

I could go on-and-on. Sorry, thanks for reading 🙂

Question: What’s something you want to vent about but for whatever reason have not let it out?

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Fixed My Nipples

Just like snowflakes, no two nipples are the same. (Not even the ones in a matching set.) Let’s just say that if variety is the spice of life, then nipples make livin’ real tasty. But did you know that there are actually, like, clinical categories of nips? The size and color of the areola, the amount of Montgomery glands and the shape and appearance of the teat itself all contribute to the aesthetic of the nipple.

Another thing I’ve learned/noticed is that normally my nipples react to temperature and also when I’m aroused, or maybe even if it’s just whenever anything touches them. But what causes nipples to get hard?

Fun fact: During puberty I thought my nipples were broken. For whatever reason as a child all of the adult nipples I had seen had been erect, so when mine weren’t erect all the time I assumed that they were defective and spent a lot of time in the locker room strategically changing to hide them. Nowadays, I not only realize that my nipples only being erect some of the time is completely normal, but also that nipples in whatever form are nothing to hide or be shy about.

Another thing I was weirded out when I realized the massive difference in the size of my areola when my nipples are erect versus when they’re not. It turns out that’s not unusual, but I still didn’t understand how it could be such a huge change. I also noticed that my nipples are wrinkly… WTF! Apparently: “Epidermis in the unerected nipple shows wrinkles that increases the surface area. This wrinkles enables the surface to expand and becomes flat during erection (Over the last couple of days I have learned so much about nipples: Thanks Google!)

Sometimes I realize my nipples are erect at a moment I wouldn’t expect, because they’re reacting to something the rest of my body isn’t aware of. But I’m not going to question it–instead of being embarrassed or hiding them behind thick clothes, I’m ready to let them out. They’re completely natural and it’s not my job to hide them, or is it.

Question: Whats the best way to handle erect nipples?

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Itchy Nipples…

Have you ever been walking along, having a totally normal day, and suddenly your nipples feel itchy, it’s like you’re wearing a bra made of a 1000 nipples.

If your nipples are anything like mine, they don’t usually cause much trouble — they go along to get along, trooping around quietly in the bra until you need to unleash them for practical and/or recreational purposes — which might be why, when your nipples feel strange, it can sometimes be kind of terrifying.

That terror can easily turn into full-tilt panic: My first thoughts are ALWAYS could my itchy, dry nipples be a sign of something serious? Are these random hairs going to be here for the rest of my life? Why hast thou betrayed me, beloved headlights!

The shock of having a nipple feel weird is usually much worse than whatever’s actually going on with your nipple — because, for the most part, nipple weirdness is not a sign of a serious health problem. Anything having to do with my breasts can send me into breast cancer panic mode.

The most common nipple-related breast cancer symptoms are tenderness, dimpling, a change in skin texture on the nipple, and a suddenly inverted nipple (inverted nipples are common and harmless — a sudden inversion is the only cause for alarm.)

So what I’ve learned is that anything else that you feel: random itch, tingle, or drip — is most likely nothing to worry about.

If your nipples look or feel different than they usually do for a prolonged period of time, or if you’re just freaked out, it’s always a good idea to see a doctor. 

First of all, itchy nipples are almost never a sign of a health problem. In rare cases, itchy nipples can be a symptom of inflammatory breast cancer or Paget disease of the breast, but itching is almost never the only symptom.

Run-of-the-mill itchy nipples have more benign causes: sometimes the itchiness is created by a skin condition, like eczema, but if you’re not experiencing a rash or other symptoms, odds are that your nipples are itchy because they’ve become irritated — by the laundry detergent or soap that you use, by friction in an ill-fitting bra, or by dry weather that’s making all of your skin dry and itchy.

Itchy nipples can also be a side effect of pregnancy-related breast growth — as a pregnant woman’s breasts expand, the stretching of the skin can irritate the nipple, leading to drying, cracking, and a persistent nipple itch.

Fortunately, itchy nipples are easy to treat, for pregnant and non-pregnant folks alike — just massage some non-irritating moisturizer into your nipple, especially right after you come out of the shower. The moisture should keep your nipples calm. But no matter how itchy your nips get, don’t put calamine lotion on them — that lotion can actually dry the skin of the nipple, and make the itching worse.

Question of the day: How do you handle the itchy nipple?

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Saggy Breasts

As a 20 something I would have never thought saggy boobs represent some sort of canonistic experience for women of all ages regardless of social-economics, and or demographics. See unless you saw me naked, you would never guess I have saggy boobs. Yes I said it. I have saggy boobs.

It’s like one morning I woke up, rolled on my back and my boobs just didn’t follow with the rest of my body. I’m not kidding, when I lie down, 80 percent of my breasts fall into my armpit. It’s really cute.

At the ripe age of 23, they’re completely deflated. I thought boob sag would only come after pregnancy, but I was wrong. Gravity is a law. My body has abided.

Sometimes I wonder what I did to gravity to deserve this boob sag. Sometimes I’ll lift them up, look in the mirror and gawk at how much of my body they cover up. My upper ribs are constantly in the shadow of my under-boob.

When I hit puberty, my ta-tas were a size D. I even had stretch marks in high school because my chest was #blessed. But at around age 20, my overwhelming D-cups deflated to modest C-cups.

Another thing I noticed my boob sag is my biggest insecurity when it comes to hooking up. They look great when they’re tucked up into a bra, but once that comes off, they’re just going to flop out. It’s like opening a bag of chips only to find more air than chips.

Then there’s the gym… OMG!!! Has anyone else gone to the gym, attempted to do some crunches and all of the sudden notice half your boob is leaking out the side of your sports bra? Just me? OK.

If you have saggy boobs, sports bras work their magic by reinforcing everything, but your boobs just get flattened against your chest in the most unflattering way. They do this droopy, separation thing as you run on the treadmill. It’s just not cute.

No matter what bra cup size you have, you probably struggle to find bathing suits that fit well. I laugh when I look at string bikinis because they’re just something I’ll never be able to wear. Ever since I grew these damn things, bikini tops have been my worst enemy. Either I’m busting out of them, forming an attractive quad boob (when they spill out the top) or there’s no support whatsoever. That’s when I contemplate just avoiding beaches altogether.

My cleavage used to be difficult to cover up. Now, I can only create Victoria’s Secret-worthy cleavage when there’s a gravity-defying push-up bra involved.

So I wrote all of this to say, you are not the only woman to deal with boob sag.

Question: Have you ever experienced boob sag?

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Single Women Thoughts…

When I write I am often focused on the emotions of a single woman living and making her professional and even sexual person known. As any true feminist knows, the emotional-clothing she wears during especially pivotal moments in her life become indivisible from the emotions related to that experience. Bottomline in all of my sartorial wisdom, I am the fictional embodiment of emotionally-driven clothing.

Cause see at some point you/we have to recognize that the many people we’ve run through, just isn’t giving us the long lasting satisfaction that we are looking for. In a society where monogamy takes a backseat to every fleeting desire, you have to ask yourself what it is that I’m actually looking for.

As Barbie’s popularity grew, she became an idol to women everywhere. As time passed with botched surgeries and the stats of bulimia and anorexia rising, people began to see that looking like Barbie was unhealthy. I would love to say that we are over trying to be carbon copies of each other or a single woman, but that would be a lie. Women are still spending money to become their favorite idols when they look in the mirror. Men have become attracted to what society tells them they should be attracted to, and in attempt to live out their youth, they are trying to capture as many of these women as possible.

Many men can argue that women are the same way. Women seek men to look a certain way, have a certain size and girth below, be financially independent and willing to splurge on their woman.

What we all fail to realize is that it is important to be yourself. Quality over Quantity. People are afraid to be themselves because we see what other people like. Even the attempt to be original isn’t original anymore. We’ve allowed society to cut funding in areas that allow our creativity to take part in who we are as individuals. We’ve allowed our music to take on similar tones in order to sell. We’ve allowed ourselves to study fields we have little interest in, in the hope that money will settle the feeling of inadequacy within.

We have forgotten that things that are good for you, are scarce. If you are looking for the perfect partner for you, you will not find him or her in everyone you sleep with. What you want to do with your life is ultimately up to you and may not be the most current trend in popular careers or majors. When someone comes into your life, that you feel has a good heart and means the best for you, you keep that person around because you never know the next time you will receive a blessing again. We are losing too much of each other and ourselves in a world that enforces looking or feeling a certain way.

I understand at times my blog demonstrates a truth time and again, hyperbolically at times but nevertheless in a manner that is innately relatable to single women. But for a second I would like for you to step back and ask yourself a single question: Am I who I want to be?

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Jealousy < Backfired

Guys allow me to start this off by saying, there are countless reasons as to why a woman would like to make a man jealous… Such as to get an ex back, get even and have revenge, or to get his attention.

Whatever the reason may be, making a guy jealous can be tricky, and may even backfire if you do it the wrong way. You need to be aware before you do it that making a guy jealous doesn’t always yield favorable results.

What can go wrong?

Before you even start to make a guy jealous, take caution and heed these warnings: Jealousy can make a guy obsessive, mean and violent: Making a guy jealous could potentially bring out the monster in him. If there’s any indication he can react violently, don’t take the chance or you might end up regretting it. Jealousy affects some guys in a very bad way. So be cautious and don’t make the guy too jealous.

You don’t get the guy just by making him jealous: Alot of guys don’t buy the jealousy technique and instead just give up on you. Guys often just think they’re better off without you.

If they give in to that type of emotional blackmail, it would hurt their ego so they give up as a means of escape from the helpless feeling. In some cases, guys even enjoy your act. Men who are self-assured, dominant, and who doesn’t have feelings for you find it interesting.

Be prepared for the payback: If he sees that you are just playing games, then you might just gain yourself an opponent. Some men react to jealousy by also making you jealous. It’s an eye for an eye. He’ll go out and flirt with other girls. He may even fight back to the point that he sleeps with another woman! So don’t expect him to come begging for you to come back. You may just get your own dose of medicine. And you’ll end up hurting all the more.

Only Make A Guy Jealous As A Last Resort

Use the jealousy approach as a last resort only because the stakes are high. It’s an easy weapon to use, but jealousy could also destroy you. If you have to resort to jealousy to get a man, then you will most likely fail.

Based on my experience (Yes I’ve played this game) if the guy has no feelings for you or has lost the love he once felt for you, making him jealous will not work.

Question: Have tou ever tried to make a guy jealous?

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Silent Sex

At least once in our lives, we all have (or at some point, we will have) experienced an awkward sexual encounter. Talking during sex is not something that’s unheard of, we all do it even within the thin walls of our downtown apartments and it’s normal–so I thought.

But did you know there’s an epidemic of silent sex going on? 

My understanding some millennials tend to avoid making much noise or talking during sex because they worry about saying something their partner doesn’t like. So they settle for quiet sex because it seems like the lesser of two evils.

Well I’m here to tell my young readers, talking or sex talk is a great skill to learn because it brings a liveliness into the bedroom in so many ways. It keeps you present in the moment. It develops your communication abilities. It taps into your primal nature. It connects you to your sense of pleasure, and can actually help you feel even more turned on. And there are plenty of ways to do it without feeling like a dumbass. Here are my thoughts.

In college I had a roommate that was very vocal in the bedroom — but hated herself for it. She said (yelled / screamed) the things she thought her boyfriend wanted to hear. I think this is where a lot of people go wrong with sex talk. You don’t need to play a role or pretend to be someone you’re not durung sex. Give yourself permission to just be you in the bedroom. For example, don’t use words that make your stomach turn, and don’t try to use filthy language if you’re a more modest person. Be authentic.

If you’re completely new to talking during sex, it’s going to feel uncomfortable at first. It’s OK to be a little awkward! Learning something new is always challenging. You don’t want to force yourself to talk never the less even talk dirty if you’re genuinely not interested in it, but I think it’s important to note that you’re never going to improve any aspect of your life unless you push yourself a bit. Embrace your growing pains.

You can actually start talking on your own–yes this may seem comical but hey, whatever it takes to get you there find it. The idea of practicing “sex talk” may sound stupid, but it’s actually an easy way to figure out what your comfort levels are, what words you like, and how sex talk affects you.

If you feel particularly bashful, start with moaning first. Let out a few sighs or groans, or breathe heavily. Try saying a few simple things like “that feels good” or “yes.” You can do this while touching your body or masturbating, to get a sense of what it’s like to be verbal when you’re feeling stimulated.

As you’re practicing, try to identify what feels most natural to you. What talk doesn’t immediately make you burst into laughter or cringe in embarrassment? Are you more comfortable saying “dick” or “penis”–wait don’t say “penis” that is awkward.

Does moaning feel better than talking? Do you like being more playful and teasing, or more serious and erotic? If you find things that feel uncomfortable, practice saying them a few times before declaring them not your style.

Crap this is my stop, I have to go…

Question: Do you feel comfortable talking during sex?

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lost orgasm

I think I’ve lost my orgasm.  I really do think I lost my orgasm.

How is that possible? That’s what I want to know. Lately, it takes my body much more time and effort (on the man’s part) to take me to a higher place. I want to go to a higher place, dammit! I am 23 – the age of notorious and desirable sex. I am turned on easily. But a climax? Not so much.

I know what you’re thinking. It’s the man whom I am bedding. Not at all. He’s good. The sex and chemistry is awesome. There’s passion and snap, crackle and pop. We have that fabulous zaa zaa zoo which means my vagina is not settling. It’s me, I tell ya. I think I lost my orgasm.

I did some research to see if this is possible, and what to do when you can’t reach The Big O. According to my friend (Boss) Amy Goldenberg, Consumer Research Analyst, SurveyStud, Inc, about 15% of women (18 – 44) have never experienced an orgasm. I can say that I have; it’s just missing in action! Because having an orgasm when you’re young is suppose to be easy.

Research states that after the age of 40 women experience more vaginal dryness and a drop in hormone levels–but not at 23 🤔. And that’s a problem. Having an orgasm is a “complex dance of physical stimulation and reaction,” according to Amy. Our neither region responds to touch, sending signals to our brain which then lubricates the pepa and pumps blood to the area. Heavy breathing commences and you scream for God Almighty while you climax – if you’re lucky. If you’re in my position, you dream of days when you did orgasm.

Note: It’s been 7 weeks!

And that’s another factor for losing the Big Bang. My understanding the more sex I have the more likelihood of an orgasm because I’m increasing lubrication. 

So basically what her research is saying to me, If you don’t use your va-j-j, you may just lose your orgasm.

Question: Have you ever lost your orgasm?

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The “Thigh” Gap

I’m a girl with a slim build, I have small boobs and so on. But I have a thigh gap, which I’m kind of proud of because it is desired by girls to have one. But I’m often told that guys don’t actually notice or find it attractive.

Truth is the “thigh gap” has taken the nation’s female population by storm. It’s an unhealthy obsession with thinness that’s causing women to seek often unrealistic standards, fueled by the never-ending stream of social media that puts the coveted thigh gap on a high pedestal.

What is a thigh gap?

You’ve probably seen it all over the web—there are Tumblr accounts devoted to photos of thigh gaps, Twitter accounts dedicated to Cara Delevingne’s thigh gap and even articles with step-by-step instructions on how to get thigh gaps. The thigh gap is a diamond-shaped gap between the thighs that is visible when a woman is standing upright with her feet together. The thigh gap obsession is an alarming new trend focused on achieving and maintaining this space between the thighs, and it’s particularly prevalent among females who are in their teens through their early 20s.

Why is it so popular?

Women on Twitter and Instagram use hashtags like “thinspiration” to post selfies of their thighs as inspiration for weight loss and dieting. Images of slim, attractive models and celebrities in shorts and skinny jeans flood mainstream media, promoting the idea that thinness and fun go hand-in-hand. Fashion trends such as high-waisted, high-legged shorts are causing the thigh gap obsession to become even more prevalent.

Some women are convinced that having a thigh gap is attractive to the opposite sex. When there are pictures of good-looking guys with women who have thigh gaps all over social media, “the implication is you’ll get him if you have the thigh gap,” says Amy Goldenberg, Consumer Research Analyst, SurveyStud, inc.

Given the normal fat distribution on the bodies of women of a healthy weight, achieving a thigh gap can be absolutely unrealistic. Women tend to carry additional fat around their hips, upper arms, buttocks and thighs. Fat on a woman’s body has always been distributed this way.

“Sadly, our standards of beauty involve being unrealistically thin in all of these areas,” Amy says. “There is a small, small proportion of girls and women who are naturally thin, and this kind of appearance is effortless for them; for the vast majority, maintaining this appearance can require dangerous caloric restriction and unhealthy habits. Women who live like this can actually miss out on life, so focused on food and appearance that they lag in their academic performance, job performance and ability to engage with other people and build relationships and friendships.”

Genetics and body structure play the biggest role in determining whether you’re able to gain a thigh gap in the first place. Many models are tall and skinny, and they have wide enough hips to have thigh gaps. Most women, however, have hips that are set too closely together to achieve a thigh gap even if they don’t have much fat on their legs. Many women can only get a thigh gap when they’re too thin to be healthy and there is muscle wasting in their legs due to restrictive eating behaviors. For someone with wider-set hips, however, a thigh gap is possible even with a healthy body weight.

But at the end of the day… [I feel regardless] if you have a gap or not, it really does not matter. Enjoy being you, not what society thinks makes a woman attractive.

Question: Do you think the Thigh Gap is attractive?

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