Sex & Lies

Sex can be one of the most intimate and bonding experiences two people can have … but it can also be a time fraught with uncertainty, irritation and … LIES! C’mon, we’ve all lied occasionally about, during or after sex. “Was it good for you?” can really only be followed by, “Of course it was, honey,” unless you want to break up. If it wasn’t, bring it up later (gently) in the therapist’s office. Here’s ways we lie about sex.

1. Being on birth control. Sadly, women do lie about birth control sometimes. One woman confesses to telling her husband she is NOT on birth control even though she is. They mutually decided to have a baby, but after they hit financial and relationship problems, she decided it wouldn’t be a good idea. But when she tried to bring up going back on bc again, she says he “knows he’ll be mad and upset and think we’re breaking up or something.”

2. Not being on birth control. Probably the most dangerous sex lie a woman can tell — secretly trying to get yourself impregnated is never a good idea. Whether it’s to hold a relationship together, to twist a proposal out of a guy, or to just have a baby cause you’re ready and he’s not — STEER CLEAR of this major lie!

3. Of course I’m clean. New couples should have STD talks with each other — but usually it takes the form of, “Have you ever been tested?” and then the other person says, “Of course I have. I’m totally clean.” In reality, you don’t know unless the person shows you test results! And believe me, people lie about it. Some even go so far as to lie when they know they do have an SDT. A model is suing her rich ex after discovering she had herpes, which she believes he gave her.

4. You’re the best lover I’ve ever had. Might be true. But if not, you’ll say it anyway.

5. You’re the first lover I’ve ever had. Not everyone lies about this, but some do for some strange reason.

6. Sorry, got my period. One of those sneaky little fallback lies women rely on when they’re not in the mood. Some guys don’t care and will grab you anyway, but enough do get skeeved that it can be reliably used as an avoidance tactic.

7. Nope, not on my period. For the lady who wants some nookie but is afraid her menses-sensitive guy won’t comply if he knows she’s flowin’, she can just do a clean up and act like she doesn’t have it. By the end of the period, should be good for 15 minutes at least. If she leaks, she can be all, “Oh my goodness, I didn’t realize!”

8. I never fantasize about anyone else. Right.

9. I never masturbate. Okaaaay.

10. I love giving blowjobs. Usually said in the courtship period.

11. Your penis is huuuuge!

12. It tastes great.

13. You smell great.

14. That feels great. Yeah, even when he’s pinching your nipples like a toddler death-gripping a favorite toy.

15. Number of sex partners. Guys inflate. Girls forget (For women some encounter don’t count 😊)

Question what sexual lies have you told?

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A Woman’s Apartment 

Your 20s can feel like a constant state of flux. Frequent moves are a fact of life as you transition from college to your first real apartment and beyond. But by the time you’re 30, you should be ready to settle down a bit. I’m not by any means saying you have to be in your forever home or have your whole life figured out before your 30th birthday. But I do think that’s when it’s time to move on from the hand-me-down dishes and decorate your “big girl” apartment.

I think your space is a reflection of your state of mind. And if you’re living in a chic, well-decorated space, you’re more likely to be successful and happy in other aspects of your life.

So in honor of all the woman turning 30 next year, here are things I think every girl should have in her apartment before she turns 30.

One piece of art that you love. It doesn’t have to be pricey, just something you love.

A comfortable mattress. You spend so much of your life in bed. “Spring” for a nice mattress.

A living thing. It can be a pup or a plant — it’s great to have a little life in your home.

A sewing kit for last-minute repairs. Your mother isn’t there to sew on a button for you anymore.

A coffeemaker. Not going to Starbucks every single day can help you budget for more important things like saving up for a house or car.

A nice vase. I love picking up fresh flowers and displaying them in my home.

A matching set of towels for the bathroom. They don’t have to be fancy, but they shouldn’t be threadbare.

A scented candle. I burn candles whenever I have guests visiting or want to relax at home.

A reliable vacuum. It’s time to toss your old vacuum that doesn’t work well and invest in a powerful one.

Question: What would you add to this list?

Leave a comment below…

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