Lady Whiskers

Every woman has that one humbling flaw that keeps her (somewhat) grounded and human. Some have struggly feet, others bad skin and the rest eye-watering breath, deformed thumbs or unflattering facial hair–no no no let’s call it what it is, a freak’n mustache. I said it, a mustache.

Now I’m very grateful for the genes that my parents have passed down to me. The fair-skin/facial hair struggle is real, and it’s the one thing my family line could’ve kept to themselves! My “Lady Whiskers” has caused a lot of insecurities to develop over the years that I’m just now working past.

“Why don’t you just shave it off?”

Well my friend, it’s not that simple because it grows right back with a vengeance. It’s not obnoxiously noticeable, but it’s enough for me to acknowledge every time I look into a mirror.

For those who endure this struggle, have you ever went/gone to an eyebrow wax and the lady asks do you want a lip wax too? Really. Everytime this happens I smile, and say no thank you, but in my mind I’m thinking… GZus lady, stop drawing attention to it–because the one time I actually allowed you to handle the stache, I walk out with a red and swollen upper lip.

Then theres the never ending shade on selfies, I’ve become a filter queen. I also find that I keep my hand over my mouth thinking it will keep people from noticing it. Truth is it don’t. Oh yeah, I can’t wear certain lipstick colors because they highlight my lip whiskers.

Bottomline, I’m not one to waste tons of dollars on different methods to see what sticks, so if I can find one good method that is effective and doesn’t break the bank that would be perfect!

Question: Does anyone know any methods which could help me fight these lady whiskers?

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SurveyStud: In the App Store

Pressure and Expectations 

As a woman I find or feel I have a lot of pressure and expectations put on me without a vote in the process.

It’s like I’m expected to get married, I’m expected to give head, I’m expected to have kids, expected to do so so many things, I’m not sure I want to do. When do I get a say in what I want to do, instead of having the pressure(s) of expectations thrust upon me.

I’m 23 soon to be 24, and you know sometimes I don’t feel like giving head, and marriage… OMG, really, I can’t freak’n pop popcorn without burning it–never less being a wife.

I just want to do what I want to do. I want to walk around in sweats with no bra and/or makeup, and watch Orange is the New Black or whatever, and not feel pressured to do anything. I want to flat out say NO, without feeling inconsiderate or sitting for hours wondering if my text response was rude. I just want to be me.

As a child women are drunkened with the “this is how you should behave,” attributes–however, I feel somewhere along the generations, someone forgot to tell/teach me/women its ok to be who you are. Its ok.

Now I’m not saying I dont want the family thing, because I do–not now, not just yet. I want to live with out feeling I got to do X,Y, and Z. I want to say I have to pee without feeling trashy. Oh another thing I want to do… I want to tell or say excuse me (within 2 seconds) to the person standing in the middle of the isle at the grocery store.

OMG OMG this may seem strange but guys do it all the time. But me, no I freak’n stand there like forever without saying anything, because I don’t want to seem rude.

But guys like my dad or brothers, man they will say excuse me, keep it moving and its done.

Question: Do you feel woman have unwanted Pressure and Expectations?

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SurveyStud: In the App Store

Venting…

I remember the first time I tried to describe the physical sensation of menstrual cramps to my dad. His face twisting into a horrified grimace.

Yes. Yes, it can be. And many of us deal with it every month. But unless you’re our SO or close friend, you’ll probably never know about it. Because we still manage to get sh*t done.

There are a lot of similar struggles that women experience all the time — some silly and small, some alarmingly big — that many men might not be aware of or understand. For example we’re always expected to look nice. And to look happy and have a pleasant demeanor. Seriously, sometimes we want to go outside with frizzy hair and no makeup and sweatpants and not talk to or smile at anyone. I also hate white I go to sleep on white sheets, with a white pillow, and wake up with sheets that look like a 1st grader just colored all over them… uggggghhhh.

OMG what about thinking about your safety ALL the time… Where you walk, how dark it is, where you park, who is in your general vicinity at all times. Parking at the mall? Don’t park near a van! Want to stay late studying? Better have someone walk you to your car. It’s exhausting honestly.

See guys dont have these type of thoughts and or problems.

Then you have the petty stuff i.e… painting your nails with the non-dominant hand–how about going-upstairs boobs. Sleeping face down boobs. Hello I’m going to hurt for no reason today boobs. Boob bra knot boobs. We’ve fallen out and going to do our own thing today boobs.

Don’t judge me, I’m venting…

If I happen to run a few errands or God forbid go to school or work without makeup on and I run into someone I know, I get ‘hey are you okay? You look sick.’ And then when I do wear makeup and I look all cute and presentable, I’ll hear, ‘yeah guys definitely like the natural look better.’

Then there’s the stress of an unexpected period, but then also the stress of an unexpected not-period.

Then theres shaving my kneecaps. Twenty-three years of practice and I’m still awful at it.

Finally because I don’t want to bore you with my problems, but ANYTHING and everything you do with the opposite sex can ([and] probably will at some point) be interpreted as being a tease or leading him on.

I could go on-and-on. Sorry, thanks for reading 🙂

Question: What’s something you want to vent about but for whatever reason have not let it out?

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SurveyStud: In the App Store

Itchy Nipples…

Have you ever been walking along, having a totally normal day, and suddenly your nipples feel itchy, it’s like you’re wearing a bra made of a 1000 nipples.

If your nipples are anything like mine, they don’t usually cause much trouble — they go along to get along, trooping around quietly in the bra until you need to unleash them for practical and/or recreational purposes — which might be why, when your nipples feel strange, it can sometimes be kind of terrifying.

That terror can easily turn into full-tilt panic: My first thoughts are ALWAYS could my itchy, dry nipples be a sign of something serious? Are these random hairs going to be here for the rest of my life? Why hast thou betrayed me, beloved headlights!

The shock of having a nipple feel weird is usually much worse than whatever’s actually going on with your nipple — because, for the most part, nipple weirdness is not a sign of a serious health problem. Anything having to do with my breasts can send me into breast cancer panic mode.

The most common nipple-related breast cancer symptoms are tenderness, dimpling, a change in skin texture on the nipple, and a suddenly inverted nipple (inverted nipples are common and harmless — a sudden inversion is the only cause for alarm.)

So what I’ve learned is that anything else that you feel: random itch, tingle, or drip — is most likely nothing to worry about.

If your nipples look or feel different than they usually do for a prolonged period of time, or if you’re just freaked out, it’s always a good idea to see a doctor. 

First of all, itchy nipples are almost never a sign of a health problem. In rare cases, itchy nipples can be a symptom of inflammatory breast cancer or Paget disease of the breast, but itching is almost never the only symptom.

Run-of-the-mill itchy nipples have more benign causes: sometimes the itchiness is created by a skin condition, like eczema, but if you’re not experiencing a rash or other symptoms, odds are that your nipples are itchy because they’ve become irritated — by the laundry detergent or soap that you use, by friction in an ill-fitting bra, or by dry weather that’s making all of your skin dry and itchy.

Itchy nipples can also be a side effect of pregnancy-related breast growth — as a pregnant woman’s breasts expand, the stretching of the skin can irritate the nipple, leading to drying, cracking, and a persistent nipple itch.

Fortunately, itchy nipples are easy to treat, for pregnant and non-pregnant folks alike — just massage some non-irritating moisturizer into your nipple, especially right after you come out of the shower. The moisture should keep your nipples calm. But no matter how itchy your nips get, don’t put calamine lotion on them — that lotion can actually dry the skin of the nipple, and make the itching worse.

Question of the day: How do you handle the itchy nipple?

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SurveyStud: In the App Store

Saggy Breasts

As a 20 something I would have never thought saggy boobs represent some sort of canonistic experience for women of all ages regardless of social-economics, and or demographics. See unless you saw me naked, you would never guess I have saggy boobs. Yes I said it. I have saggy boobs.

It’s like one morning I woke up, rolled on my back and my boobs just didn’t follow with the rest of my body. I’m not kidding, when I lie down, 80 percent of my breasts fall into my armpit. It’s really cute.

At the ripe age of 23, they’re completely deflated. I thought boob sag would only come after pregnancy, but I was wrong. Gravity is a law. My body has abided.

Sometimes I wonder what I did to gravity to deserve this boob sag. Sometimes I’ll lift them up, look in the mirror and gawk at how much of my body they cover up. My upper ribs are constantly in the shadow of my under-boob.

When I hit puberty, my ta-tas were a size D. I even had stretch marks in high school because my chest was #blessed. But at around age 20, my overwhelming D-cups deflated to modest C-cups.

Another thing I noticed my boob sag is my biggest insecurity when it comes to hooking up. They look great when they’re tucked up into a bra, but once that comes off, they’re just going to flop out. It’s like opening a bag of chips only to find more air than chips.

Then there’s the gym… OMG!!! Has anyone else gone to the gym, attempted to do some crunches and all of the sudden notice half your boob is leaking out the side of your sports bra? Just me? OK.

If you have saggy boobs, sports bras work their magic by reinforcing everything, but your boobs just get flattened against your chest in the most unflattering way. They do this droopy, separation thing as you run on the treadmill. It’s just not cute.

No matter what bra cup size you have, you probably struggle to find bathing suits that fit well. I laugh when I look at string bikinis because they’re just something I’ll never be able to wear. Ever since I grew these damn things, bikini tops have been my worst enemy. Either I’m busting out of them, forming an attractive quad boob (when they spill out the top) or there’s no support whatsoever. That’s when I contemplate just avoiding beaches altogether.

My cleavage used to be difficult to cover up. Now, I can only create Victoria’s Secret-worthy cleavage when there’s a gravity-defying push-up bra involved.

So I wrote all of this to say, you are not the only woman to deal with boob sag.

Question: Have you ever experienced boob sag?

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SurveyStud: In the App Store

Is Barack Obama the Face of America

When you look in the mirror do you see an image staring back at you that reflects your ideal image of beauty? Take a moment to describe the ideal woman’s physical features. What color skin tone does she have? How much does she weigh? What do her eyes look like? What does she wear when she goes out on the town? How is her hair styled?

Now take another moment to figure out the answer to this question: Where did your idea of beauty come from?

Because think about it, even though Donald Trump is now President of The United States, the world still sees Barrack Obama as President–so if the woman you described as ideal does not look like the woman you see in the mirror, chances are along your life journey you were bamboozled by someone’s impression of what a woman or beauty should look like.

Now don’t be upset. In our quest to decipher our purpose and mission in life we often adopt the beliefs and expectations of those around us in order to gauge whether we are living life correctly.

Suppose you were taught at an early age that you were expected to finish high school, go to college, get married, have children and retire by age 55. Those seem like reasonable life expectations don’t they? Well, how do you know that those expectations were the right path for YOU?

Now go back to the woman you described as your ideal image of beauty. Chances are you’ve met her before and it caused you great distress. Where did you meet her? Was she the woman who stole your first boyfriend? Was she the little sister who came along and stole all of the attention away from you when you were a child? Was she the most popular girl in high school? Was she the woman all the boys drooled over as she crooned pop music on television? Was she the girl who won all the awards at school without ever trying?

The point I am making is simple. If the ideal woman you imagined does not look like you, somewhere along the line you compared yourself to another woman and felt that you fell short. Somewhere along your life journey, you decided that there was another woman in existence who had something special that you did not. Somewhere along your life path, you listened to opinions about what is right and wrong and you decided not to decide for yourself.

Question: When is the last time you said to yourself… “I look good.”

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SurveyStud: In the App Store

Her Value

It’s not a secret men can’t — and won’t — commit. Trust funds and Instagram have made them troubled, or rather I should say trouble. But as I sit here watching my pizza fizzle in the microwave, I’m wondering does a fear of commitment give a person the right to disappear or reappear whenever they like?

This topic has randomly popped up over the past couple of years. I have a mentor (Amy Goldenberg, Consumer Research Analyst, SurveyStud, Inc) who constantly tells me I should date older man and forever pushes the lyric of “It’s better to be an old man’s sweetheart, than a young man’s fool.” I have friends who will only date older men. There is plenty of evidence that supports dating someone who is older, but is it truly worth it?

A nod must be given to the knowledge that women mentally develop faster than our counterpart. In this scenario, a woman is looking to date a man around her age. Depending on her standards, most men end up coming up short, whether in maturity level, finances, emotional intelligence, etc. Older men have the appearance of experience, wisdom, and theoretically are more stable when it comes to relationships. However, Im sorry but mentality I can’t get over seeing saggy balls… gives me the creeps.

For men, dating and older woman is sometimes the ultimate goal. I feel as though men tend to date women who are younger, but when get upset that she’s more immature than he thought. The older woman has the appeal of being more grounded, willing to hold her man down and/or can provide for him in ways that he can’t provide for himself.

On the flip side, older people in relationships can be more controlling. They can demand more of you than you have to give and force you into situations you weren’t ready for.

I’ve dated men who were younger than me, and I would be lying to say that at the time, it didn’t bother me. When I was younger, I looked older, and now that I am getting older, apparently, I look younger. Placing an emphasis specifically on someone’s age does not always mean that he/she is the one for you. If you were born in the Millennium generation, look to your left and look to your right. We are beginning to understand that there is no age to maturity, or stability, or experience. We are the generation learning to express ourselves while at the same time learning that life can not be placed on conveyor belt and handled in an orderly manner.

It doesn’t bother me as much anymore if I date someone younger than me. I still place a cap at a certain age for my own purposes. But I implore you, my fellow brothers and sisters, to look for more in a person than what year they were born compared to yours. What matters is how you connect with the person and where you can see yourself going with that person. What matters is how that person makes you feel, or how much your face hurts because they can’t stop making you smile.

If everyone thought deeper about who they were with, why they were with them, and were more self assured, we all wouldn’t worry about the woes of dating someone older or younger than you.

Question: How do you feel about dating someone elder?

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SurveyStud: In the App Store