I have often said men and women cannot be “close” friends without crossing boundries–physical or social. I’m speaking for myself, because I know I’ve masturbated thinking about different situations concerning a couple of my friends (I would die if they knew.)
I mean, serious friendship. No flirting, no sex; just a mutual respect for one another. I’ve had this conversation with people ranging from different ages, male and female, and the answers seem to be relative depending on your sex.
What I’ve found is that most men believe that it is impossible. Men and women cannot be friends without sexual attraction (to the point of acting on the attraction.) In fact, most men believe if a woman has a male best friend, who is not gay, she either slept with him at some point or she wants to sleep with him.
Based on the reactions I’ve seen, having a male best friend or male friends is a sore spot. Men can feel insecure about themselves or their partners if she needs other testosterone around her.
Women tend to feel that it’s easy to be friends with a man without having to lay in bed with him. It’s why we have such a strong skill in gently placing men we aren’t attracted to in the dreaded “friend zone.”
Women who are selective tend to take their time in deciding who to have a situationship or a relationship with. You can’t pressure them into sex, and trying to come on too strong can be a turn-off. I prefer to have male friends at times, just to be able to give a male perspective on situations where I may need advice. Men also seem to require less upkeep when it comes to maintaining constant communication, and carry less drama. Unfortunately, if you are woman known to have male friends, the stigma of being a hoe is attached to you, without anyone even knowing what kind of relationship you carry with these men.
Look. I do not believe men and women can be friends and mutually not cross that line. Because in my mind, all it takes is the right circumstance(s) and there will be awkward regrets the next day. I promise you.
Truth is “Lovers and Friends” does not have to apply to every male/female friendship. But keep in mind what kind of woman you are dating. Sometimes the situation is flipped, and she really is sleeping with her friend(s.) It’s on you to decide what level of respect you are giving and receiving in a relationship. Trust should be the foundation.
You should be able to meet her friends, both male and female, without wondering which ones she’s slept with. This is why it is important to be open and honest with your partner in every situation. It’s worse to hear it from outside the relationship.
Question: Do you think the opp sex can be friends?
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