Eye Contact During Sex

Making eye contact can feel very vulnerable, regardless of if the recipient is a loved one or a complete stranger. Looking another person in the eye is intimidating enough, but if they’re looking right back at us, we can feel even more uncomfortable.

On a literal level, making eye contact means being seen by another person. So many of us have fears and insecurities that we would like to keep hidden from other people, and there’s something about eye contact that can feel like we’re totally exposed. Naked, even.

Speaking of naked, eye contact can be particularly vulnerable when it comes to sex. Sleeping with someone is intimate enough as it is, without the added anxiety of looking at each other while you’re doing it.

Most people have sex in the dark, so eye contact isn’t even possible. Even if there is enough light to see, many people will avoid eye contact.

Your faces may be within inches of each others, but odds are you’ll find ways to look at anything except your partners’ eyes. Others will close their eyes during sex. And eye contact during orgasm – forget it! That’s usually way too intense for most people.

While it may seem intimidating at first, getting more comfortable with greater eye contact can have a big effect on your sex life. Here are some of the potential benefits:

– Increases self esteem: Looking people in the eye is a wonderful way to increase your self-esteem and make you feel more confident. It brings you into a stronger and more authentic relationship with yourself. More confidence outside of the bedroom translates to more confidence inside the bedroom.

– Deepens your connection: Making eye contact with a romantic partner deepens your emotional connection. A number of scientific studies have shown that consistent eye contact is one of the best ways to bond with your partner.

– Builds trust: It doesn’t matter if your sexual partner is a casual friends-with-benefits or a long-term romantic partner – having more trust leads to better sex. When you believe that you’re with someone trustworthy, you open yourself up to a wider sexual repertoire and greater pleasure.

– It’s arousing!: Eye contact during sex can be extremely arousing. It’s an amazing experience to watch your partner experience pleasure, and to be witnessed in your own pleasure.

Bottomline… Eye contact is a pretty anxiety-inducing experience for many of us.

Question: Is eye contact during sex important to you?

Leave a comment below…

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Keeping Her A Secret 

It’s obvious that the dynamic of relationships has changed since social media and the Internet. Whether you are in a “situationship”, relationship, or married, the display of being with someone else takes effect on social media platforms. 

Think about it. People are hooking up from online encounters. People are getting married from online connections. Think about any of your previous relationships and what role social media played in it. An important problem that continues to build and tear down relationships with (or without) a social media presence is: The difference between secrecy and privacy.

There is a difference darlings.

– Being secretive means you are hiding something.

– Being private involves acknowledging, but not oversharing.

Seems pretty simple right? Wrong.

There are both men and women who feel as though a relationship should be on full display for others to see. The constant pictures of kissing, holding hands, the status tags, etc. You all know what I’m talking about; the Over-Sharers. Great! We see how in love you all are, and just because people aren’t as gung-ho about your posts as you are, does not mean they are hating. Sometimes, it may actually just be YOU.

I commonly tend to think that this is a direct line coming from insecurities. Don’t be mistaken, this could be any of us at any given time. Like any other human, sometimes we need constant validation about different things. It also depends on the person you are with. If there are behaviors which they/he tends to justify–no “F” that. If there are behaviors causing you to doubt them/him PAY ATTENTION! Truth is you are doubting him for a reason.

Example, whenever $10+ is charged on my debit card, I get an email notification–guess what, I validate every notification. Why because it’s important to me. So when it comes to relationships, if you get a mental “notification,” maybe you should validate what’s going on.

So for those who love a private life, all I’m saying don’t fool yourself. You know if someone is keeping you a secret, and you know if someone just enjoys their privacy.

Question: Has anyone ever tried to keep you a secret?

Leave a comment below…

SurveyStud: In the App Store

Female Friendship

Let’s face it, in the real world, female friendships can be tricky. Like romantic relationships, they often break up due to things like growing apart, having a major blowout, and jealousy. Yet why is it that we can see our friends perfectly but when it comes to ourselves, no matter how hard we look, do we ever see ourselves clearly?

I mean I have never been able to be friends with an ex-boyfriend. I meet these couples who stay friends and I think how? How do they do that? Truth being friendships don’t magically last forty years… you have to invest in them. Biggest question I have is where do they find the energy to invest, because I find woman catty at times, and view all my ex(s) as (dont judge me) Mr-fix-it, and “dial-a-dick.”

So I’m sitting here thinking about my male friends, and the type of male friends we as women should have.

So my thoughts are:

The Flirt. I know, I know. Some of you may be thinking that this treads on the friendship border into unknown territory, but it really doesn’t have to! Sometimes it’s great to have someone to flirt with. There is a mutual respect and understanding between him and you, that it doesn’t need to be taken that far if both of you don’t want it to. It’s great to hear compliments and to give them with the physical appreciation lingering between you two. Who knows, maybe this friend is the one you’ll end up with. They say it’s better to be friends first right?

The Gay Bestie. It’s 2017. If you don’t have a gay best friend, then you’re missing out! I LOVE my gay friends! They give the best dating advice, help you pick outfits, and even better, they’re blunt, just like I like them! If you find a loyal friend, they will defend you to the end. You get to avoid all the female drama that can be overwhelming and unnecessary, while vibing with someone’s energy you truly enjoy. They give the best compliments too!

The Big Brother. It’s nice knowing that you have someone who loves you and is looking out for you. As a woman, yes, we can defend ourselves and handle our business, but to know you have a “big brother” just feels more settling. They also give great advice and can give you insight on the guy you’re thinking of dealing with. You can vent to him, he can meet you for drinks, and ensure you get home safe without all the fuss of a typical “hook-up.” These Big Brother types can learn how to treat a lady from the advice you give them. This relationship is beneficial to you both!

Mr. Fix-It. I have no clue how to put a bookshelf together. Nor do I know how to handle the tools that could help me to complete the task. This is where Mr. Fix-It comes in-the guy you always call to help you put up paintings, pick up heavy objects, and just do general labor that you need help with. What makes this guy interesting, is how happy he is to help! It’s as if he enjoys that “superman” complex in helping a woman in need. I’ve seen men call their other friends together and tackle projects for a female. I find it hilarious, but also comforting that there is still chivalry, in some aspect, alive.

The Party Guy. We all know that one guy who is at every FETE! He knows about every party, he was/is a party promoter, or just knows enough of them from all the parties he’s gone to. I don’t care what kind of female you are; You. Need. This. Man. In. Your. Life. These are the ones who lift your spirit, who encourage you to get out of whatever funk you’re in, and you are guaranteed to have a good time without feeling the pressure of hooking up with him. They know how to make you laugh, and you get to relax!

Question: Can you think of another type guy we need around?

Leave a commemt below…

SurveyStud: In the App Store

Does Size Still Matter

Last night my best girl friend called me to talk about size, and the conversation took me to a place where I wondered “does size still matter?” I mean, I’ve been in a relationship so long, I’m contempt or satified thus this topic is not on my radar.

I once wrote an article wondering how important size is. I focused on points concerning “le stroke” and how to find other ways to please your partner, since size isn’t something every man is blessed with. I pointed out other aspects that may be more important depending on the person you are.

Now I’m here to talk to the men.

Time, experience, and many conversations always include the question of the size of the partner whenever sex is involved. I feel there are certain…behaviors…a man with a smaller size penis should have. And yes. This will also be in list form, because it just seems easier to communicate my feelings in that manner for you all!

Know Your Place

Stop asking her if she can handle your “big stick” during sex. You BOTH know it’s NOT big, and it doesn’t help to remind her that you’re lacking! Stop comparing yourself to other guys you both may see on TV or online (and YES, men definitely do this!) She knows your size, and she’s comfortable enough as a woman to love you like the man that you are.

Realize this!

You Can’t Talk To Her Any Kind of Way
A lot of men feel they can question or talk to their woman in any manner. When you’ve got a big d*ck, you immediately get a way with a lot more of what you say and how you behave. This may seems wrong, but think about it. Think about every woman you’ve known that’s put up with a man’s sh*t. He either has a big d*ck or his stroke game is on mighty. Know that when you want to check her, you may need to check yourself first before she calls you out.

Licky-Licky to Sticky-Sticky

Yes. It’s true. There are still men in 2017 who won’t eat the box. Some women prefer d*ck over tongue, so it’s okay for them. If you have a woman like this, you better be hitting it right, no matter the size. But alas, if you fall short, you better know some good tricks to compensate. If your tongue game is excellent, then you’re halfway to taking her to that level. When one sense is dulled, the other senses become stronger to make up for it. It’s the same here buddy.

Take Care of Home

I mean, this should go for anyone in a relationship. But it goes juuust a little harder for those of you who are “fast-pumpers.” Show her how much you care and take care of home. Make sure she’s comfortable with you, and learn to connect with her on a deeper level than sex.

It goes without saying that someone should love you for who you are. As noble as that saying is, we all have our things that we like and don’t like. When you’re dating and in relationships, you’re not only figuring out what you like, but also what the other person likes. Life is all about balance. We all come up short in one manner or another.

Question: Does size still matter after you’ve been in a relationship for a while?

Leave a comment below…

SurveyStud: In the App Store

When You Say ‘I Love You’

Just like everything else, dating has a learning curve–Some people are fast learners. Others are slower. Some don’t gather too much data on dating; others have multiple anthologies on the subject. In other words, some are very timid, and others like to experiment. I’m not just talking sexually here, but certainly the two are related.

It’s really not about how many sex partners you’ve had; it’s about how many life partnerships you’ve tried to establish and how many years you’ve devoted to past partners. It takes time for people to get to know each other.

We start out knowing very little, usually allowing our imaginations to run wild and fill in the gaps. As we learn more, one of two things happens: We lose interest or we find that we’re even more intrigued than we were initially. The more often we feel the latter, the more likely we are to fall in love.

Ah, falling in love … I swear the only other experience that can compare to the rush of falling in love is falling out of an airplane. With a parachute, of course. The problem, however, is that you don’t want to be the only one jumping. But the truth is that someone always has to go first. It may as well be you.

You don’t need to wait until he or she tells you that he or she loves you. If you’re in love, you want to let the other person know. But you need to wait until it’s time. Here’s a few signs that’ll let you know when to say “I love you”:

1. You’re sure you love the other person.

You don’t need to be sure that this person is the one that you’re going to spend your life with. You should be certain that what you have is love. The truth is, you always know when you’re in love. I understand that when you look back, it may no longer seem like your previous loves were full of love.

But they were. A shallower love? Maybe. Definitely a less mature one — for with each failed relationship, we change as individuals. So if you’re questioning whether or not you love someone, it’s not time to jump the gun and tell that person that you do. Not even if it’s in reciprocation to his or her love for you.

Not hearing “I love you, too” is going to crush your partner — true. But as long as you explain that it doesn’t mean that you never will love him or her, things will be okay. Just don’t say “thank you.” That’s a bit fucked up. Be honest and let them process the information however they need to. If your partner really loves you, he or she not going anywhere. It would be impossible. When love is at play, free will fades to a memory.

2. You’ve been together long enough that you’re not afraid you’re going to scare the other person away.

Some fall in love faster than others. I believe most of us understand this, but when we find ourselves in love, we quickly move to convince ourselves that such a love must be reciprocated. Especially if the two of you are in what you believe to be a serious (or heading that way) relationship. You are both intimate, you want to spend time with each other, and you’re both very interested. But are you both in love?

That crossover to love isn’t always so simple. We all carry baggage, and sometimes that baggage slows us down. Sometimes we want to be in love but aren’t yet allowing ourselves. The worst part is when we don’t realize that we are the ones sabotaging things. Our past relationships define our present relationship. The past may define what a relationship is NOT supposed to be, but either way, those memories are sticking with us.

Until we allow ourselves decide to let them go, that is. We can let go of past pains without letting go of the lessons they brought with them. You don’t need pain to remind you; the memory of the pain you already experienced, the memory of the way you suffered, is enough. And that memory itself doesn’t need to cause pain. Until the two of you let go of that painful past, you won’t truly love each other. Understand that even if you’ve managed to let go, your partner may not have. Be understanding. Offer time and love.

3. You believe you’re capable of loving properly.

This brings us back to all that baggage you’re carrying. Loving is like hugging with your soul. Good luck lifting your arms with those 50-pound carry-ons under both your arms. Or maybe it’s not baggage; maybe you have too much going on in your life to make a real effort.

Some say that there is always time for love. Well, time should always be made for love, but I know plenty of people who keep themselves too busy to make a relationship work. If this is you, don’t lie to yourself and make promises that you won’t keep. With that being said, if you’ve found someone to love, then you’d better figure out a way to make time for that person. You’ll regret it if you don’t.

Maybe time isn’t an issue; maybe you’re too young. Maybe you’re not physically young; maybe you’re a little emotionally immature. It’s not something to be ashamed of — unless you’re 30 or older. Once you hit 30, you don’t need to get married and start a family, but you should be mature enough to truly appreciate a good thing when you see it. If not, then you must not be learning from your mistakes. If you love someone, say it. And give love only if you can do it fully and passionately.

4. You promise yourself that you’re going to stick it out when things get tough. Because they will get tough.

Things always do. I want to say that things get easier as we get older, but that isn’t always the case. Those of us who get wiser with age do find happy and healthy relationships more manageable. But of course, not all of us wise up. And by “wise up,” I mean, “come to the conclusion that no one is perfect.” People make mistakes. And the good ones — those that touch us and impact our lives — come in a blue moon.

Until you really understand all that, you’ll always have a few questions: What if? What if this person isn’t “the one”? What if I’m missing out on my true soulmate? What if I’m making a mistake? But loving is never a mistake. It’s all the stupid sh*t that we do when in love that’s a mistake. Don’t blame love for your indiscretions.

Relationships are easy until they’re not. They’re easy until rough times make it difficult for us to be happy. Until shit happens to us that rocks our little worlds. Until we stop putting in the effort that we once did. Until we stop feeling loved like we once did. Until we make mistakes…

If you can promise to ride things out for as long as reasonable, you’re ready to love. I’m not asking you to do anything that isn’t reasonable. When things get heated, just take a step back and reason out the best way to act. I’m asking you not to call it quits after years of happiness because you had a single moment of sadness or anger. 

Question: In your relationship(s) who said I love you first?

Leave a comment below…

SurveyStud: In the App Store

When Ur Best/Good Bra Rips

First don’t judge. On an average month after bills, my bank account may have $600 in it. So with that said, every dime counts.

Anyway, don’t you hate spending $50+ for a bra, only to have the underwire poke through, stabbing you with every move you make? Ugh. In the past, I’ve thrown away these bras without a second thought, thinking that was the end of the bra. Wrong! I finally got smart and decided to fix my broken underwire bra myself this time!

Don’t throw away those $50, $80, $200 bras, just spend 5 minutes and $2 to fix them yourself! I spent about 5 minutes yesterday repairing a bra, and now it’s back in business- so much better than throwing it out!

I bought the upholstery thread at Joanns for around $2 (regular price is around $3- 40% off coupon), and you can find it with the regular thread. I used the upholstery thread because it’s much much thicker and stronger than regular thread, and I only want to have to repair this bra once 😉

You’ll also need a teeny tiny piece of duck tape.

Directions:

1. Pull out the underwire a little bit through the hole it is poking through. Use a teeny little piece of duck tape to cover up the sharp end of the metal underwire, so it will be more difficult for it to poke through again. Be sure you don’t use too much tape, or it won’t fit back through the hole! Push the underwire back down through the hole as far as you can.

2. Thread your needle with the upholstery thread, and start stitching under the hole, and all the way up and over the hole. I used more stitches than I probably needed to, but I’d rather do a really good job once than have to do this multiple times! I stitched under the wire, and then up and over. Tie a knot at the end when you are finished.

3. Apply some fabric glue or clear nail polish over the entire stitched surface. This will give the thin material some extra protection from the wire poking through again.

Not too bad, right? Definitely worth saving $50 – $200 for 5 minutes of easy work, don’t you think?! I fixed my bra yesterday and it’s working just like before- no sharp stabbing for me!

Now you know…

Question of the day: Have you ever had to throw away a “good / favorite” bra because it ripped?

Leave a comment below…

SurveyStud: In the App Store

Self-Audit your goals

We all have a mountain — a seemingly insurmountable goal — looming in our life. But before we attempt to climb our mountain, we all ask ourselves… Can I do it?

In other words, will this journey be worth my time, money, and energy? On a deeper level, we want to know if failure is a possibility.

Failure is always a possibility. Actually, there’s a greater chance of failure than success if you don’t audit yourself prior to climbing your mountain(s.)

According to Amy Goldenberg, Consumer, Research Analyst, SurveyStud, Inc, about 80% of people who set New Year’s resolutions fail to achieve them. Now based on SurveyStud’s data, I’m sure the same statistic applies to people who set goals on any of the other 364 days during the year.

Either way, there is a huge disconnect between the goals we set and the goals we accomplish.

I believe with a little insight, guidance, and accountability that anyone can achieve their goals–if they are realistic.

I understand all of us are not into taking risks but in order to reach your goals, you have to step out in faith, and risk “failing.”

You may avoid suffering and sorrow if you don’t risk, but you simply cannot learn, feel, change, grow, love, live. The greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing. The person who risks nothing, does nothing and has nothing. Only a person who risks is free.

What causes individuals to shy away from taking a risk, even if it is a low risk and will give them something they really want? Well, certainly high on most people’s list would be fear of loss, failure and perceived humiliation if the loss were to occur. Thus gials are never accomplished.

Why would we automatically think that we would fail at something? Why wouldn’t we first try and see, and then if we did fail, learn from that experience and move on? What causes us to have these thoughts of inferiority?

Well, I believe it dates back to our little life. And, since risk-taking, to my knowledge, is not a subject that is taught in school, it would lead me to believe that a person’s fear of taking risks might stem back from before they can even remember. When you were a child taking your very first steps, it wasn’t uncommon to hear one of your parents or guardians say, “Be careful, you might fall.” Or, “Don’t do that, you’ll ….” Though some of this is rhetoric and you don’t really pay much attention to it, for some, it begins the pattern of playing it safe.

Think of how much better equipped we would be to face life’s challenges and succeed, if we had repetitively heard, “Take a chance and don’t worry about falling, because you’re going to fall… probably quite often.

Falling is an important part of learning.” Many of the greatest lessons you’ll receive in life are going to come from falling … from your failures.

Question of the Day: Whats the worse thing that can happen if you fail–now you know, do something to avoid it.

Awesome day to audit your goals.

SurveyStud: In the App Store

Addictive Power of Sugar

It is widely thought to affect the brain in a similar way to cocaine, and now a new study has suggested people addicted to sugar should be treated in the same way as other drug abusers.

According to researchers at SurveyStud, Inc, excessive sugar consumption increases the dopamine levels in a similar way to other drugs such as cocaine.

The study found that long-term consumption of sugar will eventually cause a reduction in dopamine levels. That means, they say, people need to consume higher and higher levels of sugar in order;to reach the same reward levels and avoid mild states of depression.

The researchers also found in a separate study that chronic exposure to sucrose can cause eating disorders and change the behaviour of individuals.

Amy Goldenberg, Consumer Research Analyst, SurveyStud, Inc, says the research indicates that drugs used to treat nicotine addiction could be used to treat addiction to sugar.

“Excess sugar consumption has been proven to contribute directly to weight gain,” she said. “It has also been shown to repeatedly elevate dopamine levels which control the brain’s reward and pleasure centres in a way that is similar to many drugs of abuse including tobacco, cocaine and morphine.

“We have also found that as well as an increased risk of weight gain, animals that maintain high sugar consumption and binge eating into adulthood may also face neurological and psychiatric consequences affecting mood and motivation.”

Goldenberg added: “Our study found that Food and Drug Administration (FDA) approved drugs like varenicline, a prescription medication trading as Champix which treats nicotine addiction, can work the same way when it comes to sugar cravings.”

“Like other drugs of abuse, withdrawal from chronic sucrose exposure can result in an imbalance in dopamine levels and be as difficult as going ‘cold turkey’ from them.”

Now you know…

SurveyStud: In thr App Store

Donuts are healthier than Bagels.

Donuts, even the plain kind, are perhaps one of the most fattening breakfast options available. However, that doesn’t stop millions of people from indulging in these sweet treats for breakfast. On the other hand, bagels can be considered a much more traditional breakfast food than donuts ever will be. But while bagels only seem healthier because they are not deep-fried like donuts, they are surprisingly unhealthy as a breakfast option (or as an option for any time of day) and may, in fact, even be unhealthier than donuts.

Health Issues With Donuts

Donuts are not ideal for breakfast because of their high calorie content and also their high carbohydrate content. Even as a snack, they are unhealthy, so your best course of action is to limit how many donuts you munch on. You can eat more donuts if you correspondingly increase your daily exercise in order to burn off all those extra calories and carbohydrates that you are taking in, but that is not realistic for most people due to the stresses of life. A typical donuts, such as a simple glazed donuts, already brings with it 229 calories and 25 grams of carbohydrates. Other, fancier types of donuts such as those with chocolate or filling will easily increase those totals by a significant margin.

Health Issues With Bagels

While bagels are generally a more traditional breakfast food than donuts, they are surprisingly unhealthy. They may be even worse than donuts in some nutritional aspects. Calorie-wise, you are basically just as bad off eating one bagel as you are eating one donut. For example, one basic, plain bagel has 215 calories, which is just a little bit better (but not significantly better) than the calories in one glazed donut. However, carbohydrate-wise, just one plain bagel takes a harder toll on you because it comes with 42 grams of carbohydrates. The real shocker about bagels is their extremely high content of sodium. Just one plain bagel can already account for a good chunk of your daily recommended intake value of sodium. A plain bagel carries with it an astounding 443 milligrams of sodium, and just a few bagels can already take you well beyond your daily intake recommendations for sodium.

Which is Healthier?

I asked Amy Goldenberg, Consumer Research Analyst, SurveyStud, Inc, between Donuts and Bagels, which is heathier, and these are her thoughts:

“Donuts are just a little bit healthier than bagels as a breakfast food. Based on two things: carbohydrates and sodium.”

While this can vary based on the type of donut that you have, carbohydrates and sodium are not as high in donut as they are in bagels. While bagels have, generally, fewer calories, they are worse for you in terms of carbohydrates and sodium content.

If you add additional things to your bagel–such as the ever-popular cream cheese spread–you will only add to the already higher amounts of both carbohydrates and sodium in your bagel.

As usual if this seems plagiarized that’s because it is–so if there is anything that’s needs to be removed let us know.

SurveyStud: In the App Store