Her Feelings

Guys I’m passionate and emotional. My mood shifts day-to-day, hour-to-hour. To make me (women) feel good, you have to say and do the right things.

Now I understand “some of you” may believe your girl is the most stunning woman alive. I know this because I’ve seen you go out of your way to make her feel special, and appreciated. Yet with every positive there must be a negative. Negative being the guy-guy(s) that make women feel unattractive. How about this, just leave a comment after you read the blogg:

– Fail to compliment her efforts. You are the one person on earth whose opinion she values most. She needs to know you think she’s stunning both during the times she makes extra effort (i.e. takes a shower rather than just using dry shampoo), and the days she’s sick in bed.

– Praise another woman with words you’ve never used for your girl. If you are referring to a woman as drop dead gorgeous, and you’ve never used such powerful descriptions to describe your girl, it’s devastating to her.

She knows you find other women attractive, and for the most part, she’s OK with that. But when you emphatically compliment another woman, your partner feels like you are comparing her to that woman and she’s the one not measuring up. Your comments may be innocent, but it’s a dagger in her heart.

– Porn. Nothing will make her feel more despairingly inadequate than you looking at porn. A study by SurveyStud, Inc showed that after men were exposed to porn, they rated themselves as less in love with their partner, and were more critical of their partner’s appearance, sexual performance and displays of affection. From the female POV, you are saying to her, she is not good enough. As time goes by and you continue to look at porn, you’ll come to believe that about her as well. That is how we think.

– Not initiating a hug or kiss. Withholding physical affection except when you want to be intimate makes her feel used and undesirable.

Try kissing her one evening and telling her you love her. If you do this just because you love her, with no expectation of having sex after, she’ll feel beautiful and adored.

– Do a double take when another woman walks by. We know you’re wired to notice and appreciate beauty, but please learn not to gawk.

Similar to the reasons explained in complimenting another woman, you cannot understand how deeply it hurts your her to see you check out another woman. (And trust me: She notices, even when she doesn’t say anything.)

– Peek at your phone while your sweetheart is talking. Make eye contact with her when she is talking to you. It sounds simple, but it’s a common problem.

If you’re staring at your phone while she’s talking, she’ll start to wonder what’s wrong with her — even if you’re only checking ESPN for the halftime score. Couples who have a conversation with a phone nearby reported less trust in their partner, and a lower quality relationship, according to the folks at SurveyStud, Inc.

Question: Ladies what other items could I add to this list?

Leave a commwnt below…

SurveyStud: In the App Store

Her Flexibility In Bed

So I’m laying here thinking having a super-flexible body comes with endless benefits. For starters, you can leave everyone in awe during yoga or pilates without breaking a sweat. But being able to wrap your feet behind your neck is also a handy trick in more, shall we say, X-rated realms. Flexibility opens up a whole wide world of sexual experimentation that less limber people can only dream of, or try at the risk of pulling various muscles. Here are positions to add to your roster when you’re insanely flexible.

– Modified lotus. The lotus sex position is all about closeness. The point is for you and your partner to become tangled up in each other while also benefitting from intense eye contact, which is why it’s a staple in movie sex scenes. Have your partner sit down with crossed legs, then sit on top them. While you’d usually wrap your arms around each other, the flexibility modification comes into play when you throw one or both of your legs over your partner’s shoulder. Hello, way deeper penetration! Nice of you to join the party.

– Modified standing doggy style. People with Gumby-like limbs can try out all sorts of standing sex that those with more resistant joints can’t quite manage. For this position, have your partner stand behind you, then bend forward in front of them, planting your hands firmly on the ground. You can keep your legs far apart or bring them closer together—it’s worth switching it up to see how that changes the sensation.

– Standing doggy style with a split. Start off in modified standing doggy style, then lift one of your legs in the air like the sex gymnast you are. Your partner can hold it while thrusting, or if your heights work for this, you can rest your foot on their shoulder. Even better if you don’t warn them you’re about to lift it, then look over your shoulder and see their eyes pop out in holy-hell-she’s-an-actual-sex-goddess amazement.

– Missionary with a split. Give this old favorite a very bendy twist. Lie on your back with your legs open and knees bent, and with a few pillows under your butt for support. Have your partner kneel in between your legs, and as you start having sex, lift one of them so it’s resting on their shoulder. As you continue, ask them to slowly lean forward until your leg is sandwiched in between your chests. The feeling of incredible sex combined with a good hamstring stretch is pretty much unparalleled.

– Missionary with both legs up. It’s the same as the previous position, except you’re throwing both legs over their shoulders before they lean down. Double the pleasure, double the fun, double the ahhh as you give your muscles a quality stretch.

– Reclining spider. Sit across from your partner and arrange your legs so that you both have one stretched and one bent. The magic happens when you each have a bent leg in the perfect place to create some very good friction. Thanks to your accommodating hip flexors and the ability to arch your back without throwing it out, you can move back and forth against your partner for however long you like.

– Reverse cowgirl with a side split. Take this sex-position staple up a notch. Have your partner lie down, then sit on top of them with one leg on either side of their body. Instead of just bouncing up and down at that stage, go a step further by leaning forward and extending your legs so you’re in a side split. You two can grind against each other, or your partner can take the reins and thrust up into you—perfect if you’re a fan of G-spot.

– Girl on top with a split. This is the upright version of missionary with a split, and depending on how you set yourselves up, it can do your body good in more ways than one. If you only extend your back leg, you can bend your front knee so you’re almost in a lunge position. All those up and down movements then do the double-duty of blowing your mind and boosting your workout.

Question: When is the last time you tried something new in bed?

Leave a comment below…

SurveyStud: In the App Store

The Selfish Years…

The CEO of SurveyStud, Inc said something I would like to share with you guys.

He (George T. Reynolds, CEO, SurveyStud, Inc) said, “Your twenties are your selfish years. They are not meant for you to invest large amounts of time, and energy into a relationship–it’s a period of discovery.” Woah…

Does that mean you shouldn’t have one?  No, not at all. Your twenties, though, are meant for you to find your passions, to learn, to travel, to see everything, to experience everything, to manifest your dreams, and to mold yourself into someone you’re content with, so that when you’re 70 years old rocking on a porch swing next to the love of your life, you don’t have any regrets. You want to know you did everything you possibly could and wanted to do in your life.

After hearing this, I truly believe that in your/my early twenties, a relationship’s sole purpose is to help each other grow. Motivate each other. Inspire each other. Support each other in everything the other wants in life. If you are in a relationship, it should be because you love that person’s soul. You love their interests, passions, hobbies, company and vibe so much that you want to be there to support and motivate them to keep working on themselves until they have reached their full potential, and vice versa.

When two people are each so happy and content with their own self, that is when they can be truly happy together.

You shouldn’t have expectations. That’s a mistake I’ve made in the past and a mistake anyone can be guilty of. If you and that person are meant to be together, you will be together. You don’t need to worry about where the relationship is going, whom the other person is talking to, or what they’re doing when you’re not around. Real love does not hold jealousy, it does not hold envy, and it is not self-seeking. What you need to worry about is accomplishing every experience you can, whether it is something as small as having a beer with a coworker or as big as taking a year trip to India.

Keep on doing these things till you’ve put the tin lid on who you truly are, and just sit back and patiently cheer on everything your significant other’s journey entails as well. After it all, if you two are still in love, well then that’s just beautiful. That’s just real.

Question: Did you know what you wanted, and how to get it in your 20s?

Leave a comment below…

SurveyStud: In the App Store

Am I Petty…

There’s no class in high school on how to not be a shitty boyfriend or girlfriend. Sure, they teach us the biology of sex, the legality of marriage, and maybe we read a few obscure love stories from the 19th century on how not to be.

But when it comes down to actually handling the nitty-gritty of relationships, we’re given no pointers… or worse, we’re given advice columns in women’s magazines or this blogg. Yes, it’s trial-and-error from the get-go. And if you’re like most people, it’s been mostly error.

But part of the problem is that many unhealthy relationship habits are baked into our culture. We worship romantic love — you know, that dizzying and irrational romantic love that somehow finds breaking china plates on the wall in a fit of tears somewhat endearing — and scoff at practicality or unconventional sexualities.

Men and women are raised to objectify each other and to objectify their relationships. Thus, our partners are often seen as assets rather than someone to share mutual emotional support.

A lot of the self-help literature out there isn’t helpful either (no, men and women are not from different planets, you over-generalizing prick.) And for most of us, mom and dad surely weren’t the best examples either.

Fortunately, there’s been a lot of psychological research into healthy and happy relationships the past few decades and there are some general principles that keep popping up consistently that most people are unaware of or don’t follow. In fact, some of these principles actually go against what is traditionally considered “romantic” or normal in a relationship.

Below are tendencies (based on research from the folks at SurveyStud)in relationships that many couples think are healthy and normal, but are actually toxic and destroying everything you hold dear.

THE RELATIONSHIP SCORECARD. What It Is: The “keeping score” phenomenon is when someone you’re dating continues to blame you for past mistakes you made in the relationship. If both people in the relationship do this it devolves into what I call “the relationship scorecard,” where it becomes a battle to see who has screwed up the most over the months or years, and therefore who owes the other one more.

You were an asshole at Amy’s 28th birthday party back in 2010 and it has proceeded to ruin your life ever since. Why? Because there’s not a week that goes by that you’re not reminded of it. But that’s OK, because that time you caught her sending flirtatious text messages to her co-worker immediately removes her right to get jealous, so it’s kind of even, right?

Wrong.

Why It’s Toxic: The relationship scorecard develops over time because one or both people in a relationship use past wrongdoings in order to try and justify current righteousness. This is a double-whammy of suckage. Not only are you deflecting the current issue itself, but you’re ginning up guilt and bitterness from the past to manipulate your partner into feeling wrong in the present.

If this goes on long enough, both partners eventually spend most of their energy trying to prove that they’re less culpable than the other, rather than solving the current problem. People spend all of their time trying to be less wrong for each other instead of being more right for each other.

What You Should Do Instead: Deal with issues individually unless they are legitimately connected. If someone habitually cheats, then that’s obviously a recurring problem. But the fact that she embarrassed you in 2010 and now she got sad and ignored you today in 2013 have nothing to do with each other, so don’t bring it up.

You must recognize that by choosing to be with your significant other, you are choosing to be with all of their prior actions and behaviors. If you don’t accept those, then ultimately, you are not accepting them. If something bothered you that much a year ago, you should have dealt with it a year ago.

DROPPING “HINTS” AND OTHER PASSIVE-AGGRESSION. What It Is: Instead of stating a desire or thought overtly, your partner tries to nudge you in the right direction of figuring it out yourself. Instead of saying what’s actually upsetting you, you find small and petty ways to piss your partner off so you’ll then feel justified in complaining to them.

Why It’s Toxic: Because it shows that you two are not comfortable communicating openly and clearly with one another. A person has no reason to be passive-aggressive if they feel safe expressing any anger or insecurity within the relationship. A person will never feel a need to drop “hints” if they feel like they won’t be judged or criticized for it.

What You Should Do Instead: State your feelings and desires openly. And make it clear that the other person is not necessarily responsible or obligated to them but that you’d love to have their support. If they love you, they’ll almost always be able to give it.

BLAMING YOUR PARTNER FOR YOUR OWN EMOTIONS. What It Is: Let’s say you’re having a crappy day and your partner isn’t exactly being super sympathetic or supportive at the moment. They’ve been on the phone all day with some people from work. They got distracted when you hugged them. You want to lay around at home together and just watch a movie tonight, but they have plans to go out and see their friends.

So you lash out at them for being so insensitive and callous toward you. You’ve been having a shitty day and they have done nothing about it. Sure, you never asked, but they should just know to make you feel better. They should have gotten off the phone and ditched their plans based on your lousy emotional state.

Why It’s Toxic: Blaming our partners for our emotions is a subtle form of selfishness, and a classic example of the poor maintenance of personal boundaries. When you set a precedent that your partner is responsible for how you feel at all times (and vice-versa), you will develop codependent tendencies. Suddenly, they’re not allowed to plan activities without checking with you first. All activities at home — even the mundane ones like reading books or watching TV — must be negotiated and compromised. When someone begins to get upset, all personal desires go out the window because it is now your responsibility to make one another feel better.

The biggest problem of developing these codependent tendencies is that they breed resentment. Sure, if my girlfriend gets mad at me once because she’s had a shitty day and is frustrated and needs attention, that’s understandable. But if it becomes an expectation that my life revolves around her emotional well-being at all times, then I’m soon going to become very bitter and even manipulative towards her feelings and desires.

What You Should Do Instead: Take responsibility for your own emotions and expect your partner to be responsible for theirs. There’s a subtle yet important difference between being supportive of your partner and being obligated to your partner. Any sacrifices should be made as an autonomous choice and not seen as an expectation. As soon as both people in a relationship become culpable for each other’s moods and downswings, it gives them both incentives to hide their true feelings and manipulate one another.

Let me stop because my bath water is getting cold, and I realize Im really talking about myself. Am I petty?

Question: Are you petty?

Leave a comment below…

SurveyStud: In the App Store

What Women Think About Attractive men

Like the comedic monologue in every rom-com you’ve ever seen is that semi-awkward moment where the protagonist sees a gorgeous, leading-man-type, hot guy. You can picture it now. The sucking in of your breath, the being slightly overwhelmed by their presence, and the thought of oh my God please don’t let my eyes bulge any further out of my head! It’s completely expected to have certain things pass through your mind during these moments.

The media has convinced women that beauty is something you should strive for and try to grasp at, especially when it is within your reach.

Why wouldn’t you crave the attention of an attractive man? Just to remind you that you’re not alone…  in your feelings, here are the thoughts most women have when we see a hottie:

Holy Sh*t He’s Hot. This is the standard, OMG reaction that many of you get when a gorgeous hunk of man meat walks in your general direction. It’s the recognition that this is a very attractive man and it’s taking you a minute to really grasp just how attractive. Usually, this is paired with eyes bulging out of your head, head turning, lower jaw dropping and possible perspiration. Just remember to keep it all in your head. Shouting “Holy sh*t you’re hot” at a complete stranger can sometimes be met with strange looks and restraining orders.

I’d Do Him. Men aren’t the only ones who can be controlled by their libidos. For women, it usually starts with some slight butterflies in your chest or stomach and it sometimes warms you all the way down to your knees. Fantasizing is completely normal, especially when someone you find incredibly attractive strolls by. You might even have these thoughts and gently bite your lip. Yes, that man is good enough to eat. Remember, it’s guilt-free because men do it all the time. It’s called the “yes or no” game.

He’s Better Looking Than My Ex. First and foremost, of course he is! There aren’t many men out there that aren’t better looking than your awful, lazy, slobby, finally-kicked-him-to-the-curb ex, unless your ex is Denzel Washington; in which case, our condolences, and alas, this hottie is NOT better looking than your ex. It’s normal to think these things, and the more you notice how beautiful other men are, the easier it is to forget and move the heck on.

I Wonder If He’s Good In Bed. The cat’s out of the bag. It’s not just men who look at an attractive woman and fantasize about sleeping with him. The difference is that women actually take a few moments to analyze the likelihood of him knowing what he’s doing or if he’ll just go at you like a jackhammer… for all of 3 minutes… if you’re lucky. So just keep in mind, it’s okay to think about it, and it’s okay to fantasize about it, but whether or not you proposition a complete stranger is up to you.

We’d Have Beautiful Babies. Every woman has fantasized about what her babies with a celebrity would look like. Think George T. Reynolds, Will Smith, Channing Tatum… the list goes on. People are hardwired to scope out their best possible mate. You make decisions based on height, appearance, job, hair colour, and many other factors. Everyone that has made the decision to have babies wants healthy, beautiful babies so go ahead, close your eyes and picture you and Mr. Gorgeous over there having a perfect, beautiful baby boy.

He’s WAY Too Good For That Girl. You may come across a handsome gentleman and you notice that he’s not alone. If he’s with a girl, you’re going to be prone to making the comparison between him and her. Most outsiders of relationships can look at one from afar and judge whether or not the relationship is ‘equal’. Which one is the better-looking one? Which one dresses better? Which one has the better job? OMG, he should not be with her. Followed usually by he should be with ME.

He’s WAY Out Of My League. Yes, you sometimes make the similar comparison you made to him and that other girl, but you sub yourself in, but shame on you! No one is out of you league. You can date anyone you want to. So it’s okay to have the quick thought where you know you want to date him, think that it could never happen, and then remember that if you really wanted to, you could. Put a smile on, catch his eye, purse your lips, keep walking and let him come after you.

Question: What do you think when you see a guy in the office?

Leave a commmment below…

SurveyStud: Im the App Store

“Come on, just the tip!”

Men are interesting creatures. They can be so adorable and sweet, you don’t even know what to do with them.

They can be thoughtful and caring in ways that make you fall so hard, you’re not sure which way is up. Quite simply, it’s in the female nature to love men.

Men and women are clearly very different, however; ladies often want things from men they aren’t willing to give in return. This is frustrating, since we’re the ones having sex with them, right? Like the saying goes, “A good man is hard to find.” Preach.

So many guys do things women not only hate but also don’t understand. Between dad jeans and weirdly misogynistic attitudes, there are certain things that make us girls want to run away and never come back.

– “Just the tip”

We’ve all been there: You’re getting all hot and heavy with a cute guy, but you’re not ready to “go all the way.” So, he pleads with you, “Come on, just the tip!”

Excuse me, sir? Just the tip? No! If your business makes contact with my business, — if there is penetration at all — that is sex. And, please stop making us feel like uptight assh*les from not allowing this to happen.

– Texting to say “What’s up?” and then not responding for three hours

Why did you start a conversation with me if you don’t plan to text me back? If you don’t have time to talk, don’t bother texting me. If you do this, I’ll assume you’re playing some kind of game because overthinking is what women do.

Just be respectful and mindful that we deserve responses, especially if you’re the one who initiated the correspondence in the first place.

– Not changing their sheets regularly

What is it with guys not changing their sheets regularly and also thinking it’s okay to re-wear socks? (See also: overdoing it with the cologne.) You smell like a Russian bathhouse, dude. Take a shower.

– Touching our phones

This one is easy: DO NOT TOUCH MY PHONE!

– Trying creative sex too early in the game

We all have our fetishes. But, nothing makes us go ice cold faster than you asking to do something out of the ordinary before everyone’s comfortable. Save your penchant for leather for another time.

– Tipping poorly

Ladies appreciate being wined and dined. Going out on dates makes us feel special, and it’s sweet when you ask us to dinner and make the effort to wear a button-up instead of your Bears jersey.

That being said, there is nothing less attractive than a bad tipper. It makes us uncomfortable, and you better believe it’s going to piss off our server. Frankly, it makes you look cheap.

If you don’t have the money to leave a decent tip, you clearly don’t have the money to be eating at a restaurant. If you don’t have the means to pay the tip, plan a romantic home-cooked meal.

– Asking to have a threesome with our hot friend, whom we would rather die than see naked

It just isn’t going to happen. Life is not a porno. Just because I watched porn with you that one time doesn’t mean we’re recruiting one of my girlfriends to join us for a romp. Mmk?

– Some bizarre aversion to belts

What is it with dudes not wanting anything to do with belts? Guys seem to think it’s attractive to let your (dad) jeans hang down your butt, where you constantly have to pull them up. That is not cute. Just get yourself a nice belt and call it day.

Question: What are something that guys do that drive you insane?

Leave a comment below…

SurveyStud: In the App Store

Women Kissing Women

Have you ever hooked up with a girl at a party? According to a recent study, a full one-third of straight college women (that’s right, we’re not focused on straight men or lesbians here) answer “yes” to this question. If your answer is “no,” you might be wondering whether or not you’re missing out.

I spoke with the consumer research department at SurveyStud, inc which sought to provide the first empirical evidence of the prevalence of and reasons for heterosexual women kissing each other at parties (despite their behavior, no one considers these women lesbians). They found that 69% of college women and men have “been at a party at college and seen 2 girls kissing or making out” and a full 33% of college women reported that they had “kissed or made out with someone of the same-sex at a college party.” Thus, a majority of college students report seeing this behavior and a significant minority of women report having engaged in this behavior themselves.

SurveyStud also interviewed straight women who reported publically making out with other women. The key findings include: All of the incidences occurred when the women were drinking alcohol as well as prompted by others (e.g., boyfriends or “dare” games).

SurveyStud also described firsthand accounts of women’s motivations behind this Girls-Gone-Wild behavior. At the top of the list, 56% of women reported a desire for male attention, including “turning on” a boyfriend or communicating sexual availability to eligible bachelors. Forty-three percent reported wanting to contribute to a fun party atmosphere, while 42% reported hooking up with another girl because they were drunk. Female bonding (26%), sexual experimentation (23%), shock value (22%), and obtaining resources like money or alcohol (16%) rounded out the list.

This research contributes to a growing area of study in psychology with investigators examining when and why women engage in a behavior coined self-sexualization. Self-sexualization occurs when women actively present themselves in a sexualized manner or as a sex object to others (Allen Gervais, 2012), including dressing sexy, using catwalks at dance clubs, taking poll dancing or strip teasing classes, or kissing other girls (Nowatzki Morry, 2009.)

One of the primary questions in this area of research is whether such self-sexualizing acts are empowering or oppressive. Is this something you want to do or not? The answer to this seductively simple question is, well, complicated. Some women report that they enjoy being sexualized by men (Liss, Erchull, Ramsey, 2011) and women may feel like they can “fit in” and “stand out” when they self-sexualize (Allen Gervais, 2012.) SurveyStud offer some further insight in this regard, reasoning that hooking up with other girls doesn’t represent true empowerment if it occurs due to pressure from other people. While many women noted that they felt powerful from arousing sexual desire in men and engaging in sexual experimentation, only 16% of the women reported this in the absence of explicit pressure from others. Instead, most women (64%) reported that they felt sexually objectified or degraded during these experiences.

Although this might appear to represent the sexual liberation that women have worked so hard toward, is this the type of gender equality we’re really looking for (after all, when was the last time you saw two straight men locking lips for the enjoyment of women)? Sure, women can now sometimes openly display their sexuality (if they are young, attractive, heterosexual), but if it’s still directed toward garnering men’s attention, it sounds a bit more like oppression disguised as empowerment.

So ladies, the next time you’re at a party considering hooking up with your best friend or that hot chick from across the room think twice about who you’re really doing it for.

Question: Have you ever hooked up w/another women to turn a man on?

Leave a comment below…

SurveuStud: In the App Store

Communication With Men

In my position, I hear from men and women continually. In most relationships — communication appears to be the biggest struggle. It’s a constant work in progress in my own marriage. The difficulty is in the way men and women communicate.

I realize not all men are alike — and these are generalities. I can’t emphasize that enough — so if you comment that these aren’t true for everyone — I with you! (Please re-read this statement.) The only way to know is to talk with the men with whom you are trying to communicate to see if these are true for them. My hope is that these — as general as they may be — may help some women better understand a man and improve communication.

Communication with men:

Men mean what we say. Often not what you/women heard – That is true 99% of the time. Men are usually more literal, and frankly simple-minded. Women may have multiple meanings with a statement. That’s less likely with men. So, when a man says something, try to hear only what was said — without attaching extra thoughts triggered by emotions. If in doubt, ask if his statement had a deeper meaning before making assumptions. Most likely he meant only nothing more than what was said.

Men don’t often like to give details – If a man said where he was going, who he had a discussion with or what he had for lunch, that’s usually enough for him. End of discussion. (At least in his mind.) He may not like going into detail beyond those simple facts. I understand you may need and even deserve more information. That’s especially true when a man has given reason to disapprove his trustworthiness. In learning how to communicate, however, it’s important to know details may be out of his realm of comfort to provide. When it’s not a matter of trust, the less you pump for details the more likely he will be to share facts, and even occasionally, details.

The male range of emotions are limited – Most men don’t feel as deeply or multi-faceted as a woman feel about an issue. It’s not that he don’t care. It’s just that he is wired differently. Because of this, men tend to communicate more factually and less emotionally. If you ask him how he feel “happy” or “sad” may be as descriptive as he can get for you. That may be it. I’ve heard so many wives who want to know their husbands “deeper” emotions. She may not understand that he’s shared the depth as well as he knows how to share them.

Woman may tend to cry while men may tend to get upset – I get criticized for this point sometimes, but it’s a difference in wiring. Please understand, there is never an excuse to misuse anger and abuse of any kind should not be tolerated. But anger in itself is not a sin. The Bible says “in your anger do not sin”, but it seems to assume we have moments of anger. The same things that may cause female’s emotions to produce tears, often cause a man to develop anger. A good man learns to handle his anger responsibly, but it doesn’t eliminate the response. When an issue riles a man emotionally, it helps if you understand his emotions may be normal and you may even be able to help him channel his response to that emotion.

Sometimes men have a hard time communicating what’s on their heart. often he never fully do – This is sad and he may even know it. Here’s a tip. When you make men feel they will be respected regardless of the emotions they display, the more likely you’ll see his true emotions.

Question: Do you think you effectively commincate well with men?

Leave a comment below…

SurveyStud: In the App Store

Remedies For Blackheads

After doing the list on home remedies for acne, I started getting a lot of questions about blackheads in particular. Common and annoying, blackheads occur when your pores become clogged with excess sebum, and dead skin cells. The difference between a black head and a white head is simply whether or not the pore is open or closed. If the pore is open, the plug of sebum/skin cells oxidizes as it is in contact with the oxygen in the air, which turns it black. Blackheads are not caused by dirt. Let’s make that clear from the beginning.

Scrubbing your face obsessively is not a good way to get rid of your blackheads, and is only going to make it worse as you’ll just end up drying out your skin, which will cause more oil to be created to make up for everything you stripped away, and…well it’s a vicious cycle. For this reason, don’t use some of these remedies more than 2-3 times a week, such as the sugar scrub and pore strips. I know it can be hard to resist, but your skin will be better off this way:

1. Clay Time

Bentonite clay is a mineral rich healing substance that has been used for centuries to treat a number of ailments, chiefly skin related. Because of its molecules “electrical charge” when wet, it does an amazing job of drawing out oils or other impurities locked in your pores. When you apply the mask your skin gets to drink in all the minerals, while the clay simultaneously draws out the blackhead. It also helps with circulation, which helps with overall skin tone and health. You can mix the clay with water or apple cider vinegar, maybe sticking to the former if you have dry or sensitive skin. Experiment! This mask will make you feel like your face is tightening as it dries.

2. Egg White Mask

Egg whites form an easy mask that can be used to temporarily tighten pores, thus reducing chances of future blackheads, and will also remove current blackheads. Egg whites are also rich in nutrients for your skin, and are a little less drying than some other home remedies for blackheads.

3. Honey and Milk Pore Strips

Milk and honey both have properties that are good for skin. Honey has antibacterial properties, and the lactic acid in milk is said to help keep skin soft and supple. The main purpose here though is, when mixed together, to act as an adhesive.

4. Cinnamon & Honey Strips

It sounds like a delicious candy, but cinnamon and honey make a wonderful combination for getting rid of blackheads. Again, the anti-bacterial agents in the honey can help keep away bacteria that are causing acne (not necessarily blackheads, but still a bonus) as well as act as the adhesive to pull out anything clogging your pores. Cinnamon improves circulation, and this increased blood flow gives your skin a smooth, healthy, glow.

5. H2O Daily Blackhead Treatment

While pore strips and face masks work wonders, they can only be used several times a week to avoid drying your skin out to much. If you want to do something daily to prevent your blackheads, a gentle rinsing with water 1-2 times a day is the way to go. This keeps things that can make your pores appear larger-such as excess sebum and dead skin-flushed away and your pores clear. Be sure to use a light moisturizer when you are done to prevent your skin from trying to produce excess sebum to accommodate for dryness.

6. Toner for Tighter Pores

Since blackheads are caused by open, clogged, pores reacting to oxygen, it only makes sense that “shrinking” your pores down will help. Lemon juice is just the astringent substance needed to get the job done, however, it can lighten skin temporarily and it does make you sensitive to the sun, so load up on sunscreen if you plan on using this method in the summertime. If you have sensitive skin, try diluting the lemon juice with water first.

Question: How do you keep your akin hydrated and clean?

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SurveyStud: In the App Store

How She Flirts

If there’s one thing you learn today ladies, let it be this: The way girls flirt is like a sport. How? Why? Because it takes a while to properly develop the skills needed to master the art.

Men are clueless confusing creatures and oftentimes miss the subtle signs we put forth when we’re trying to tell a dude we like them. If you don’t make the opposite sex aware that you’re flirting, theres a good chance they’ll have no idea. That said, here are ways girls flirt that men don’t notice—which means you might have to be a little more forthright if you want to catch that cute guy’s eye for good.

1. Crossing your legs

Body language is difficult for some men to understand. One would think that crossing and uncrossing your legs is a pretty obvious flirting method—especially if you’re wearing a pair of high heels or a thigh-grazing skirt—but it’s a move that can easily be overlooked by guys.

Try this instead: Make light body contact. For example: Casually touch his arm while you’re talking, or playfully tap his shoulder if he makes a funny joke.

2. Twisting and flipping your hair

Women always seem to think that constantly twisting and flipping their hair makes them seem like they’re flirting, but it usually just come across as a nervous twitchy habit—not sexy.

Try this instead: Instead of maniacally tossing your hair around, style your locks in such a way that a few strands fall toward your eye, or try rocking some seriously sexy beach waves or a messy loose braid. Think about the hairstyles you feel most confident rocking and go with that. Odds are, it’ll translate.

3. Freshening up every five minutes

Guess what? If you dash to the bathroom to brush your hair or reapply your lipstick every five minutes, guys won’t notice.

Try this instead: Put as much effort into your appearance as you want before you meet them, but focus your energy on making great conversation instead of worrying about how you look.

4. Winking

Okay, it might seem cliché, but some women still might think winking is sexy. If you wink at a man, he might think you have a tick.

Try this instead: Make great eye contact while talking to him. It’s sexy, smart, and shows you’re really listening.

5. Laughing at everything he says

Laughing can be a great way to flirt—when things are genuinely funny. But if you’re speaking to a man and you laugh at everything he says, you’ll confuse him and come off looking a little ditzy—or nuts.

Try this instead: Smile often (nobody likes a sullen date) and laugh when you truly find something he says funny—not when you think you should be laughing.

6. The goodnight text

Sending someone you’ve just met (or are casually dating) a goodnight text can come off as needy. Sending these types of texts could cause guys to view you as a typical “girl” instead of thinking you’re slyly flirting with them.

Try this instead: Don’t text a guy goodnight until you’ve been on two solid dates and know you’re going out again.

Okay ladies, now you’re clued into some techniques that men likely don’t consider flirting. So, don’t waste your time sending out the wrong signals—get out there and use the above tips to show him you’re into him.

Question: How else do you flirt?

Leave a comment below…

SurveyStud: In the App Store