unconscious bias toward short men

Do women see short men as lepers? Not quite, though it does seem that most women feel that short men aren’t relationship material. Having heard short male friends of mine complain about their jeopardized status in the dating pool, I can speak for at least some of them when I say that short men believe that women see them as less than or deficient, as if models pulled off an assembly line because they don’t measure up to the others. 

If we conceptualize the dynamic along a continuum of developmental stages, it’s as if women see short men as awkward teens stunted in time, desperate at a school dance and relegated to the side wall.

In short, it seems that somehow short men aren’t perceived as real men.

Now I’ve spent the majority of my dating life with tall guys. One guy was so tall I had to stand on my tip-toes to kiss him. I liked having taller boyfriends—-I just thought that was how it was supposed to be.

In reality, the problem isn’t short guys—it’s us/me. We’re so hung up on whether a man has a few inches to spare that we tend to miss one important fact: This is a person we’re talking about, and we’re judging them on their height, of all reasons. We might as well take a pass on a potentially great guy because his leg hair curls the wrong way… that was a bad example. Anyway.

The reason I’m writing about this, my Uber driver has his seat uncomfortably close to the steering wheel, and it made me realize I’m not attracted to short men. I mean this guy is super nice but: could he protect me in a bad situation–can a short guy protect me, and it’s not the fact that he’s short it’s the 23yr old image imprinted in my mind of what protection looks like.

In my mind the image of protection looks like my dad: 6’2, very athletic, protective A-Type personality. Which probably explains why I alienate short men.

I really need to think about this. I will stop for now, but I realize I have this unconscious bias towards short men.

Question: How do you feel about dating short men?

Leave a comment below…

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5 thoughts on “unconscious bias toward short men

  1. Women – usually subconsciously – seek out men that are like their fathers, either in looks or behavior or both. I’m not talking daddy issues, but fathers leave an imprint as the first man in a woman’s life and thus become the model.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’ve always dated tall men however, my husband is shorter then I am. Before I was married I always was attracted to taller men and not shorter men. I think, culturally we are led to believe that we are supposed to date men taller then us and it’s all over the media too and with in our own family and friendships. Naturally we look there for what is appropriate. AS if taller men are more attractive then shorter men. I’ve found this to be not the case. When I first started dating my now husband I knew that he was shorter then me. At first it made me uncomfortable. As our relationship grew his height bothered me less and I fell in love with the person. Thank you for writing this post, I enjoyed reading it.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I have no preference… then again, I’m only 5’5″ so most men are taller than I am!

    I like being able to kiss my man without standing on my tiptoes, though. IMO, it’s better and more intimate when he’s closer to my own height.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Personally I don’t mind dating shorter men, however, I do have an issue when a man who is online and states they’re 6ft when in reality, he would be less than 5ft 5″. It is the deception, rather than the height, I have issues with. I like your blog!

    Liked by 1 person

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